Can't I Touch Your Heart?

Chapter 74 Till The End, You Stayed

With the sounds of her breathing as she paddled her bicycle, with her trophy in her bag, shining in the sunset, a smile came over her face, he was waiting for her. She threw her bicycle aside as she got down from it and ran into the hospital. The third floor, the last room, the white door, that American smile, so fake, dripping in the pretence of happiness and the sweet smell of Autumn, so real. The silver string shining around her neck, like an extravagant noose, pulling her closer to him.

"Ember!" She shouted as she entered that room. It was filled with a golden blaze of sunlight, with oak pollen and Gulmohar flowers resting at the windowpane. the smell of sweet autumn clematis. On the bed, Ember was lying with his eyes closed, his body was cold and covered with flowers of gratitude. 

"Ember," Rhea dropped the trophy and took slow steps towards him.

'I really want to live, Rhea,' The echoes of his voice in her head pierced the silence his memories had left behind, like throwing a rock into a calm lake. She looked at the bright-lit window, shining in the darkroom, slowly turning into a door and Ember standing on his bed, beside his body which was wrapped in a thin white, cloth. He wore that sailor uniform, his fingers were red, and his eyes never looked so serene.

"Ember," She looked at him.
"We can't be together," He looked down at her, standing before that door, lighting up like the sun. He looked so beautiful, yet so deadly, "I have to go,"
"Why are you leaving me?" She cried, "I did everything you asked me to THEN WHY?!"

He smiled,  "Because it hurts,"
Teardrops fell from her eyes and she began crying. 
"And I want to be free from this pain,' His body began turning translucent as the light grew in intensity, till it was white, her silver string glowing with him, 
"Don't go!" She grabbed the white sheets over his body, " Please don't let me go! I love you!"

"I love you too," He smiled, "And just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you, Arorhea,"
And he crossed that door, everything went dark. She continued crying loudly in the darkness. He left, and took the sun with him. The blue forget me not flowers on his body were slowly turning pale, withering away with him, they had no scent, and neither did he. 

She calmed down as she looked at them,

"You didn't break your promise. You are here, waiting for me with flowers in your hands. But then, why am I so sad?" Rhea began to weep again. Loraine stood at the door as he looked at her back. He was still dressed up in a white shirt. He walked towards her and pressed his hand over her shoulder, slowly coming down to his haunches as she cried on his shoulder.

"I really want to live, Rhea,"

. . .

Loraine was dressed in black, playing the piano as people looked at the casket of his brother. Neel sat inside a church, with Maple, Elford, Jack, Mark, Miranda, Mr Helberg, Arjun, Meenu, Nikki and the other people that Ember had ever known. Everyone was dressed up in black. The coffin was covered with blue forget me not flowers. Rhea sat away from everyone else with a bouquet of white, sweet Autumn Clematis, burning his face into her memory. His voice, his smile, his eyes, his everything. They were singing hymns of the dead she never heard.

Her dried tears knew of a pain she had never imagined. One year, one year was all they had together, he came, changed her life completely and went away within a year. As she looked up, everything was golden. The Gulmohar trees outside the graveyard reminded her of the summer with him, his gentle hugs, that forest behind that old painting shop, and objects with new meaning like bottles of spray paints, red jordans, thinning blonde hair with a pink scalp, watching that silhouette sitting before the window, playing the guitar with the sweet smell of Autumn Clematis filling the air, his bed made of blue forget me not flowers. 

Maple passed a candle to her, "We'll take Ember to the grave now,"

She kept trying to erase him, but there was too much to forget. Those late-night texts, late-night sneak outs, walks under Eucalyptus trees, his back as he paddled the bicycle, the sky reminded her of his blue eyes, and it looked so different. 

They lit up the candles and walked towards the freshly dug grave. 

His laughter. It brought a smile to her face.
"I want you to close your eyes,"

She closed her eyes as they lay his casket and imagined, the third floor, that last room, it's empty now. His service dog is lonely. Elford is packing his stuff, ready to leave. 

They are carrying the candles to continue the remembrance of the departed. It was a memorial candle to return home with them as a keepsake. Lit on occasions to commemorate the deceased's life, candles had the power to continue remembrance and pay homage to the mysterious forces of life.

She looked at him, resting among those beautiful blue flowers. That must have been a dream because... He looked too beautiful to be real, so ethereal dressed in white, he looked like an angel...Was he always this lovely? She never looked at him properly, his eyelashes weren't blonde, they were brunette and short, and he had light eyebrows, not dense at all, he had a little pit mark on his right cheek, blemishes on his forehead, his fingers were long but ugly, he had little stretch marks around his neck. He wasn't perfect at all. He looked so human. But he as a whole was so beautiful. The flowers were hugging, the earth welcomed him, growing in a river of tears, they let him down, sinking into rest, free of pain and her.

She didn't want to stop looking at him, he looked so very different from Loraine or Maple, they looked nothing alike. And he was leaving, he was leaving her behind.

No.
That wasn't it.
It was her.
She would continue growing up, leaving him behind. Because he would stay sixteen forever.

"I could have been a better friend..." She looked at his casket, "It's like torture,"
Loraine looked at her, "I think I'm losing it-I don't know what's happening, but I know you're going and I'll never see your face again, but now that I look at you, I don't see what inspires me, I see the person I love," She fell on her knees, "I love you so much. Not because of anything you've said or done. I look at you and I just love you. Please...Wake up.  You have to tell me I'm not crazy, just your hallucination will do, but please look at me!"

All the voices were gone at once. 

And that's when she knew, 
He had left.

-To be continued

Can't I Touch Your Heart?
Teach Me The Art of Living