Joe and Dianne: My Suicide Saviour - Part 2

Back into dance

Dianne's POV:

I laid on my back whilst in bed. The soft duvet pulled up above my chest, and my head resting softly on the pillow. I restlessly tossed and turned all night struggling to fall asleep. I managed to get around 4 hours but now it was 5 am and I was wide eyed and bushy tailed. I looked up at the white ceiling and stared motionless, allowing my tired eyes to make patterns in the paint.

My body was yearning for movement. My bones aching from not moving properly for over a month. That's when I realised that I hadn't done any proper dancing since before Joe and I went to Australia. My entire career had been put on stand bye because of Incidents, mistakes, and lost memories.

I'd been a professional dancer since I was 23 and now that I was well into my 30th year of life, It's about time I got on with my passion. My life. My career. I grabbed my phone off of the bed side table and booked in a 4 hour session in one of the studios that Joe and I used to train in for strictly. I had some fond memories of that studio and I knew it would be the perfect place to clear my head and get my life back on track. 

I got out of bed leaving Joe fast asleep on his side of the bed. I walked briskly down the stairs and grabbed a coffee.I headed out onto the balcony and watched the sun rise gently over the London skyline.

/time skip into the studio/

I placed my training bag on the polished wooden floor of the studio. I looked around and felt a genuine smile creep back onto my lips as I thought about all the happy times I had been in this room. I looked at the sunlight beaming in through the high windows, reflecting off of the line of mirrors creating an array of colours onto the floor. I looked over at the white walls opposite to see the fake antlers screwed into the wall. I thought about the jokes Joe made as we rehearsed our waltz and Cha-Cha, all the good times we had training for 10 hours a day for 6 of the best weeks of my life.

How times have changed.

I walked over to the speaker system and plugged in my phone. I scrolled through my music for ages considering what to dance to. I settled on the song 'Lovely' by Billie Eilish. I t wasn't the conventional song to use for ballroom or Latin but that wasn't what I needed to dance to right now.

I allowed my body to move fluidly to the orchestral beginning. I felt the beat and rhythm of the music through the floor and up into my legs, and chest. I felt every note. Every lyric. Every bit of that song was dissected as my I moved my body in a contemporary style. Dance to me wasn't something to be looked at. It was a way of expressing yourself. A way of telling the world what was happening in your life. A way of letting go of your stresses and focusing on what was important to you. Getting lost in music and movement. Finding out who you really were.

It felt like I was only dancing for 30 minutes or so, but I was eventually interrupted as a dance class walked in to use the studio and my 4 hours were up. I quickly grabbed my stuff and headed out of the studio and into the evening light of London in spring.

I had a huge smile on my face and thought about how I felt. This was the happiest. Most relaxed. And calmest I had felt in weeks. Months even.

I was out on my own feeling happy and calm. Not a care in the world. Life was perfect.

It got me thinking;

Maybe I didn't need Joe after all...   

A/N Sorry this wasn't the best but it will get more interesting I promise!