Joe and Dianne: My Suicide Saviour - Part 2

walking away

Dianne's POV

I slowly woke my tired eyes and allowed the light from the open curtains to stream into my bedroom. I was sprawled out across the middle of the bed, the soft duvet clutched in my hands as I stretched out my aching muscles.

I was doing a pretty good job at not thinking about what had happened, I trusted that the police would find Anthony and get him out of our lives once and for all. I still can't quite believe that it was he who did this to me. Or maybe he's the only person I would ever expect. In all honesty, I think I got the better end of the deal though. My brain was fortunate enough to shut down my body, I don't remember any thing, and I certainly don't remember the feeling of it all.

Joe on the other hand...

My poor Joseph, he hasn't slept in over 3 days and he's wracked with guilt about the situation with Evie and with Anthony. I couldn't give a fuck about that anymore, I could only hope that Joe was home, and that I could speak to him. That I could look into his sweet, ocean blue eyes and feel like i'm home. But something tells me that the oceans won't be calm. I'm expecting a tidal wave of emotions to be hidden within those seas.

I walked out of our room and turned the corner to head down the delicately carved staircase. The cold marble floors, attacking my feet. As I looked down the stairs, I saw a skinny figure withering away at the bottom of the stairs. A line of purple stitching along the back of his shaved hair. His long neck, hosting a line of dried blood, leading down to his muscular back and highlighting his white shirt, now a light red stain strewn across the top half.

I walked down the stairs and sat next to him - resting my head on his shoulder, putting my cold hands onto his upper thighs, gently squeezing his muscles to let him know a reassuring hand was here to help his rocky, unpredictable and broken life.

As Joe stared blankly into the distance, he lowered his hand off of his face and onto my hand. The scratchy material from the splint on his arm, irritating my skin.

Conversation:

D: What's going on Joe

J: I can't un-see it Dianne

D: Un-see what?

J: Everything. I can't un-see you with Anthony on that floor. I can't un-see the look you gave me when you saw the article about me and Evie. I can't un-see you on that balcony. Everything that has happened within these walls may not be out there in the house anymore, but it's still here in my head.

D: Joe you're just tired. Come back upstairs with me. We'll close the curtains - put something boring on Netflix and sleep through it.

J: Di you know I can't do that

D: Why not Joe?

J: Do you even want me anymore Dianne?

D: Joe... I... I...

J: Yeah that's what I thought your were going to say

D: Joe listen to me.

J: .....

D: Joseph

J: Yeah i'm listening.

D: How could you think that I don't want you anymore?

J: I'm damaged Dianne. I'll never be the person I was before we met again, and I'll definitely never be who I was when we were training together and when we met. I'm broken - I'm tired - I'm not the person that you fell in love with.

D: I know you're not

J: So that's why I'm saying if you want your exit card then take it now. I've got my exit card out on that balcony so if you want to go, just go. It's okay I won't blame you.

D: Joe you're not the person I fell in love with 11 months ago. You're not even the person I fell in love with yesterday. Because every single moment I spend with you Joseph Sugg I fall in love with you more and more. Despite what we've been through together. Despite every dip in the road, and every arsehole that's stood in our way, I will never be able to fall out of love with you. I can only fall further and further into it. And if being in love with you ends up being a trap then it's a trap I want to be caught in. And that will never change.

Joe's POV:

As Dianne spoke to me, I realised how stupid I was being. The images I had of Dianne in this house. The shitty situations I had seen her in were in the past. And right now, as I looked into her perfect hazel eyes, I couldn't see my past. All I could see was my present. I looked back out into the lounge, and I could see the possibility of a future.

Our kids running around the house. Our parents round here for Christmas. Eventually our grandchildren running around that same space that our kids and we once did.

Every other image was gone.

Every memory and every painful part of my past, with or without Dianne slowly fleeting, like the inevitable moments they are. It was at this point, as Dianne finished speaking, I knew what to do.

I stood up quickly and ran up the cold stairs. Feeling the muscles in my legs cramp up after the lack of movement they had endured over the past 4 hours I was sat on those stairs.

I ran up into my room - practically sprinting into it, closing the door behind me.

I went across our room and into our wardrobe. I went into my sock draw and pulled out a delicate velvet box. It was a deep red, and held an intricately designed ring.

I held the box in my hand and walked into the centre of the room. Getting down on my knees, I felt the soft carpet on my knees through the rips in my jeans.

I heard Dianne's delicate, dancer like footsteps walk towards the door,

Before I saw the handle move, and the door swing open...