Joe and Dianne: My Suicide Saviour - Part 2

Don't do it

Dianne's POV:

As soon as I woke up, I could tell something wasn't quite right. The bed next to me was freezing cold and my lost boy was no where to be see. I rolled over to see the light for the bathroom on round the corner. I roused my body out of bed before looking at the time.

5:45 am

Slowly walking around the corner, I saw Joe stood in the bathroom. Looking at himself blankly in the mirror. His hair was swept back and dripping wet. His muscles on his back were looking strong and powerful. The towel wrapped around his waist slowly slipping off of him, revealing the strong muscles around his hips. He didn't realise I was staring at him, so I stayed still and quiet, just wondering what he was going to do next.

I watched him walk over to the cabinet and pull out a small metal object from the top drawer. I couldn't see what it was but soon filled in the gaps when I saw Joe bring it to his wrist. His eyes were shut tight, and he kept on flinching. I became nervous as I saw how much his hands were shaking whilst he held the sharp razor blade to his wrist.

I really thought that Joe had gotten over this. But then again, I can't blame him for at least thinking about it given what's happened. In all honesty, I had thought about doing it again. I saw how much his hands were shaking and couldn't just sit by anymore. I had to interject.

I walked over and pressed a hand on Joe's back.

"Please stop Joe. Don't do it." I pleaded. My voice was shaky and tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. Joe's body tensed for a moment but soon relaxed after my touch. His eyes were tightly shut and his hands were shaking more and more.

"Dianne?" He questioned timidly. The fact that he didn't know it was me upset me. who else would it be? I think to say that Joe had trust issues was an understatement.

I grabbed the shaking hand that held the razor blade and moved it away from Joe's wrist, taking the razor blade out of his hand, throwing it into the sink. It was covered in dried blood - I didn't dare think about how long Joe had been using it.

Conversation:

D: Joe please open your eyes

J: I...I can't Di

D: Why not Joe?

J: ......

D: Joe this is really freaking me out now. Please answer me!

J: The images

D: What do you mean?

J: Everything that's happened to me. To you. To us. Everyone who's hurt me trying to get to you, or anyone who's hurt you. All the torture that we've been through and for what purpose. So that we can be together or so that we can have the satisfaction of not giving in to pain and hatred. Is it so that you and I can go onto get married and bring children into a world as shitty as this one, or is it so that we can have a bank of interesting stories to tell our biographer if we get old. Everyone who has affected me is in my head right now and I can't get rid of them. Help me Dianne. Please!

D: Joe.... Please just open your eyes. There is no one else here but me. I am here right now with you and you're safe. Just open those eyes and look at one image and one image only. ME. Just because I said I wouldn't marry you doesn't mean that I don't love you Joe. Because I do - I really really do love you Joe. So please open your eyes.

J: I'm scared Di.

D: Me too. But the first time I saw you, the first time I fell in love with you was when I looked into the deep blue of your eyes. They reminded me of home when I really missed Australia. They reminded me of a safe space when I was feeling lost. And right now I'm lost, missing home and scared Joe. You have done nothing but protect me and right now I need your help as much as you need mine. So please open those beautiful eyes of yours.

Narrator's POV:

Joe slowly opened his eyes to see Dianne standing to the side of him. Her hands clutched within his shaking ones.

Joe looked into Dianne's eyes, which were threatened with tears. Nothing was said, until eventually Joe let go of Dianne's hands and lent over, resting his head on her shoulder, leaving his face in the crook of her neck.

"I'm sorry Dianne." Joe said simply as a single tear fell down his face onto Dianne's skin

"What for?" Dianne asked seeming both confused and upset with his question

"Me." Joe said leaving them both in each others arms, not knowing where to stand.