Joe and Dianne: My Suicide Saviour - Part 2

This is it - part 1

Dianne's POV:

I laid out on my bed wearing on of Joe's hoodies and hugging my pillow. My childhood bedroom hadn't been touched since I left Australia 4 years ago - so coming back usually made me happy. It reminded me of better times. But now all I could think about was the fact that Joe wasn't here with me. That he couldn't make me laugh. Couldn't protect me and couldn't be there to listen at what I wanted to say to him.

All I wanted to do right now was kiss him and tell him that I love him. I don't care if my life is in danger or whatever the fuck it is. I didn't care that I might be dead by the end of this week. All I cared about was Joe. I wanted to walk down the beach with him and watch the ocean reflect off of his perfectly blue - ocean eyes. But I couldn't. I didn't even know if he was alive.

I also refused to come out of my room. In many ways I was acting like a stubborn teenager, but I really didn't care. My parents were the only people that I could trust when it came to talking about what the fuck is going on in my life. Well the only people that aren't Joseph Sugg of course. I mean it's not the first time they've told me that they don't like one of my boyfriends. That's fine, I can deal with that. But to say that they thought Anthony was a good guy and that I can't be trusted on my own has really upset me. Also I don't know why they don't like Joe. He's perfect. He's sweet and kind and funny and a million and one other things. 

I decided to ring his phone once more just in case he answered. I hadn't slept in about 40 hours, so I knew that this was probably not a good idea. It would probably just upset me more. Every time I call him, and he doesn't answer, the thought that Joe might still be alive slips further and further away. Instead of calling him, I began to look through my photos of the two of us.

I scrolled through each one looking at it in detail. I stopped at the one of us on Joe's birthday. Both pulling funny faces - without a care in the world - drunk out of our minds and happy. If there's one thing I took away from my time with Joe, it's that his smile is the thing that keeps my blood flowing. The thing that can light up my life, and makes absolutely everything okay again. I looked at the photo and looked at his smile. But it did nothing.

A photo of Joe will never be the same as looking at his mousy brown hair that gently flops over his head. His perfect smile that lights up a room and lights up my heart. And his eyes. I know that I bang on about them, but those perfect crystals are the one thing I crave more than anything in the world right now. 

I continued scrolling but was distracted when I heard the doorbell go off from downstairs. I ignored it and continued looking through my phone. I then heard my mum shout my name from downstairs. Several times. I was still being stubborn and refused to answer. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and stopping outside my door. I always kept my door open, but my back was on my bed so I couldn't see my mum standing in the doorway. I heard my name one more time.

"Dianne." But it wasn't my mum. This was a voice that I never thought I would hear again.

I quickly spun my head around to see Joe standing there. His eyes a deep blue, a smile plastered across his face.

I couldn't believe it. I felt the air in my lungs get caught in my throat as I leapt off of my bed and jumped into Joe's arms.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. My lips smashing against his as I stayed in his arms.

I pulled away from him and placed my forehead on his. Our noses touching and our eyes locked directly onto one another.

"I can't believe you're here Joe" I said in utter disbelief

"I'm here Di - I'm right here." Joe replied. His breath just as choked as my own.

"I love you." I said as I looked into his perfectly blue eyes.

"I love you more" Joe sweetly said in reply

"Not possible." I said before smashing our lips together once again