Joe and Dianne: My Suicide Saviour - Part 2

A knock at the door

Dianne's POV:

I sat tentatively on the edge of the sofa in the apartment. It didn't feel right being here without Joe, I mean this is his home - I moved in with him so why was he so happy for me to just stay here?

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that there was only one explanation.

Joe was perfect

That's why. He knows how much I hate moving about, he knows that I'm now comfortable in this home. He knows more about me than anyone in the world and yet I've still let him go.

I allowed yet more tears to fall from my tired eyes. I hadn't slept in around 40 odd hours, and I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight. It's impossible to sleep if Joe isn't in the same bed as me. It's impossible to be happy again if he isn't here to share my laughter. Why? Why the fuck did I let him go?

Part of me hoped that Joe would knock on the door and come back to me. That he would know that I'm in the wrong here and he's in the right. I'm not angry at him for the kiss, I know that he loves me and that he hates Evie after all the shit that she did to her. I was angry at Joe because I thought that I had to be. That I deserved to be angry at him because of all the stuff that's happened since he's been in my life.

As if any of that was his fault, but it never was. Joe was the one who has saved me a number of times risking his life in the process. Yet I let him go for no real reason.

I looked through my Instagram feed and went onto my own profile. Over the past few months I've been with Joe, I've posted countless pictures of the two of us. I scrolled down to when we first met. Slowly working my way up. I looked at each picture, allowing more tears to flow as I thought about the memories that Joe and I had had together. Memories that I never wanted to forget. I wanted to be with Joe forever. I guess that has to change.

I looked out onto the balcony that was being gently lit up by the last sunlight the London skyline had to offer in the dusk of spring. I thought about how I almost jumped, when Joe left me. He was the only reason that I came back but now he's gone again what have I got to lose?

I was about to walk over to the doors onto the balcony but was distracted by a knock at the door.

Was it?

Was it Joe? Had he come back to me?

I practically sprinted over to the heavy wooden door and opened it with my heart full of hope.When I looked who was behind the door my heart broke into a thousand pieces. The hope fell out of my body instantly, probably never to return. I looked at the figure who stood before me. Someone who I wished I would never see again...

"Hey Di, How are things?"  

A/N Sorry this is a bit of a shit chapter, have to get it in there though, promise it will get better xx