The Unlikely Queens

Twelve

When Zahid is fast asleep beside me I slip out of bed as slowly as humanly possible. I avoid the creaky portion of the wood floor as I come to standing on my tiptoes and lower myself down on the balls of my feet. I take the letter out from underneath my pillow and lay it on top for Zahid to find when he wakes up. I shuffle quietly across the floor to the prayer room. I only push open the door enough to slide my arm through and grab ahold of the large satchel of clothes and some of my treasured belongings I put aside after we finished our nightly prayer.

I wiggle into the dress I casually left slung over my desk chair, wincing when the fabric rustles too loudly. I risk a glimpse over at Zahid and let out an inaudible sigh of relief when I see he is still sleeping soundly. I put on a pair of shoes, secure the satchel across my body, and take one more long look at my husband before I leave him. I start for the door and realize I'm forgetting something. I am still wearing my wedding ring. I had initially decided to leave it behind, but I cannot bring myself to do it. Leaving it with Zahid feels too final, too hurtful. I have made up my mind about living in Buran and being on the throne, but I love my husband with all heart and I do not want our marriage to end.

I cannot have it both ways. Once I return to Asnor I do not plan to see Buran's beautiful sunsets ever again. Which means I will never see Zahid again. I have to give him my wedding ring back. He deserves that. I twist it off and notice, even in the darkest, the indent all around my finger. I try to contain my tears as I go back over and drop it on top of my letter. I sadly smile at him and turn my head away before I change my mind. I do not shed a single tear until I am mounting my horse and riding away from the palace.

~

I see my house just over the hill and I urge my horse on faster. We speed toward it until we're finally in front of it. I stop and take a moment to gaze at it in wonder. As I rode through the kingdom I could not stop smiling, despite my circumstances. I have missed Asnor's beautiful, rolling hills and storybook landscape. I examine every piece of wood that makes up my home, a cozy two-story with a rustic exterior.

I direct my horse to the left to go around to the stables. Father's horse, who he funnily named Sir Ellington, wakes up from his nap to watch me tie up my female horse, who I decide is now named Madame Ellington. I run back around to the front and reach the door as it swings open to reveal my sister.

"Georgiana!" She flings herself at me and crushes me in a tight hug. "I thought I heard someone! How are you? Whatever are you doing here? Is the Sultan with you?"

"No, I...came alone." I murmur as she draws back to look at me. I want to pull her into another embrace, I have missed her so much.

"Are you allowed to do that? Forgive me, I mean...surely royalty cannot just leave on their own."

"I did not tell anyone I was departing. I am afraid I...snuck away. I could not stay in Buran another second."

"Why? I thought you were happy there."

"Truthfully? I am not. I should not of lied to you."

"Has something happened? Is it the Sultan? Is he treating you with respect?"

"Yes, of course, but—"

"Eleanora? Who are you talking to—Georgiana!" Father appears in the doorway and wraps me in a hug.

I bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in his familiar smell of his favorite cedar cologne and cigars. I did not realize how much I missed something as simple as my father's scent, but now that I am here, I have longed to be with my family since they left.

"You are alone," Father looks around behind me before meeting my eyes. "Where is your husband?"

"She left by herself, Father." Eleanora explains gently.

Before Father can express the worry on his face, I take a deep breath and tell them the truth.

"I cannot go back to Buran ever again," I whisper. "I am not welcome."

~

Father lights the fire while Eleanora makes us all a pot of tea. I sit at my place at the table and watch my sister putter around the kitchen and Father fuss with the fire. It is like nothing has changed.

"Now," Eleanora hands me a warm cup of tea as she joins me. "Tell us what is wrong. Why do you think you are unwelcome in Buran? You are their Sultana. They must adore you."

Father takes his place at the head of the table and they both patiently wait for my answer. I tell them how I cannot comprehend the traditions and culture and how no matter how hard I try, it is never good enough. I tell them how much I love Zahid and that I would love more than anything to be with him always, but it is just not possible. I tell them about the nobles' low opinion of me and my manners. And finally, I tell them how I was almost spat on because I am hated that much.

"Oh, my poor sister." Eleanora takes my hand. "Why did you keep all of this from us in your letters?"

"I did not want to worry you. Or seem ungrateful. I am royalty. I have the privilege of living in a beautiful palace and wear gorgeous clothes and jewelry. Not only that, I have an incredible husband. I should not of left, but I did not know what else to do."

"We understand." Father says quietly. "Perhaps you should stay here for a day. Once you sort out your emotions, you will have a clearer head about what to do. A good night sleep cures all."

I nod, "You are right, Father. Thank you. I have missed you both very much."

Father smiles, "I am afraid I would be lying if I said I was not happy you left Buran. The three of us belong together, at least for a short while, after so long apart."

"I agree." Eleanora smiles. "I know you are upset, but I am dying to know. Do you get to wear priceless jewels and crowns every day?"

We all chat for hours about my life as royalty. My ladies, the presents from Zahid, everything accept the horrible details. And when I settle into bed that night, I sob and sob until no tears are left.