Permanent |✔️

Chapter Thirteen |Fucked up|

*Sighs* ~ Asher
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|ASHER'S POV|

The moment when you feel like you're trapped into a hole and no way to be out. It felt that it wouldn't go through it, like it wouldn't past , that I wouldn't go past it, it felt like it was never ending, permanent even.

Feeling trapped and unable to do what I really want. Wanting to throw everything behind, wishing even. But it's not impossible, not even in my dreams.

I just want to break something, someone.

I held the lamp from my desk and threw it against the wall. I was heavily breathing, I needed to fight today.

I ran to my basement, toke off my shirt beginning to throw punches towards the punching bag.

"You little twat. Thinking you're the big shit?!"

"I'll find you and ruin you. You hear me! Ruin you!"

His voice in my head, his words from the other day are killing me. I'm not scared of him, but I'm scared of what he's planning on doing.

Kidnapping Ava?

Hell no.

I threw another punch, but not towards the punching bag, but towards the glass mirror in the bathroom.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I yell, thrashing the place. My chest raising up and down heavily. I fell on the floor, holding my head as I laid against the wall. Frustrated tears fell down my cheeks.

"Weak."

"Pathetic."

"Asher?" I heard a soft, familiar voice. I lift my head and see Ava standing playing with her fingers, and a concerned expression.

"Go away." I mumbled,

Do you really want her to go away?

I don't know.

"No." She walked closer. "I said go away!" I yelled, she flinched. But it didn't stop her from coming over to me. She bent down, squatting next to me.

"Hug?" She grins, opening her arms.

Only this girl.

"No." I answered coldly. But she always does the opposite I tell her so there's no surprise when She jumped into my arms, her face in my neck, I couldn't help but sniff her hair; and It smelled like flowers. Her hands ran through my hair slowly, my arms were stiff to my side. I didn't know how to react.

I was barely hugged.

She was the first one to actually hug me. Most people I know don't come for a hug, mostly a handshake. But her, she went beyond the limits.

Her hands found the way to mines as she wrapped mines around her waist. "That's a hug." She mumbles against my chest. I won't lie, it did made me feel a bit better, a little bit more relaxed and calm.

She unwrapped herself from me, she was still close her face inches away from mine. My eyes went to her lips, watching her lips split apart slowly, also at how plump they are and how pink they are.

Focus.

She suddenly gasps, "What happened to your hands?!" She grabs my hand and brings it closer to her face as she aspects it. Her eyebrows crunch inwards , lips turned into a small frown.

"It's nothing." I tried to remove my hands from her but she held tight.

"I'll be right back." She mutters standing up, limping her way up the stairs. Minutes later she came back holding a first aid kit. She sits right across me as she forcefully took my hand when I tried not to give it to her. 

"So stubborn." I heard her mutter.

Wanting to mess with her. "Ow!" I yelled while she was cleaning the blood. She looked up panicked. "I'm sorry." She Whispers going more gently, and her forehead scrunched in together as she focused.

A strand of hair that was against her face was bothering me, I involuntarily removed it behind her ear. She looked up stunned by my actions, I caught her blush but she immediately let her head down and continued removing the glass. I faked a cry as her face turned into a deeper frown that was filled with even more concern.

"Be careful." I whine dramatically.

I'm having way to much fun.

"Okey, Okey. Does it still hurt?" She asks when she was done cleaning it and wrapping my hand. I stared into her eyes, she was caressing my hand like I was kid, she took care of me.

When realization hit, I shake my head as I pushed her away from me, forgetting she was slightly injured; But I held myself from looking back at her.

No heart.

No mercy.

And I walked up the stairs. Not before hearing her sigh "One step forward. Three steps backwards."

****

"Where are you heading?" Asked Rio while he was eating a donut tv.

"To fight." I shrugged, rolling my shoulders.

"You can't go alone." I snorted.

"Watch me." I smirked, heading out of the door towards my car. I step in it turning it on.

"You little twat. Thinking you're the big shit?!"

"I'll find you and ruin you. You hear me! Ruin you!"

That mother fucker, I want to rip him into pieces.

Twenty minutes later I arrived to the rank. I was greeted by a few members, but I ignored them completely as I headed to my room and got ready. Thousands of people were waiting for me,

"The beast!"

"The beast!" They kept yelling, I sprung towards the rank ready to attack.

"1,2,3 GO!" He yelled as I threw a nasty punch towards his face. My injured hand throbbing until I couldn't feel it.

Left , right punch.

Two kicks towards the ribs. He immediately fell, I took that as an advantage and threw punches towards his face then went for his neck as I squeezed it.

"I'm going to ruin you."

"Watch me ruin and crush you."

"STOP." The man came in between us. I let the guy go as they took him to probably fix him up because I fucked him up.

I looked towards the crowd, they were all yelling. But my eyes went towards the familiar green eyes. She had tears stained on her cheeks as she kept staring at me. Rio was beside her as he wrapped an arm around her hugging her. I clenched my jaw walking away from the rank towards my room as I slammed the door; punching the walls repeatedly.

Her tears.

The way she looked at me like I was some monster.

She looked afraid from me.

I was breathing heavily, sitting down on my chair as I rub my eyes together, and all I needed was to be alone. With my horrifying thoughts.

And her image in my mind that is fucking me up so badly.

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[A/N]

Woah. What just happened?

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Until next time♥️