Permanent |✔️

Chapter Twenty-Seven |Hold|

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|ASHERS POV|

I lay down on the couch, unable to sleep. My mind keeps on going back to Ava. The way she sighed in relief when she first saw me. The way she stared down at Lucy with jealousy; somehow made my happy that she cared, and that she thinks of me. Or the way she cried to me because she thought I was dead; that feeling of someone that's scared over losing you makes my heart pound uncontrollably; makes me want to hold her forever, to protect her in all means. Or the way she kissed me after I told her about all the women who used to use me l as there pleasure. She wasn't disgusted nor disappointed, she didn't even show any pity. She showed me assurance, I felt it, I felt the way her lips were on mine so soft and gentle ; silently telling me that she isn't like them and to trust her. To tell me that everything is alright, when she knows it isn't.

Expressing my feeling is a whole other situation. She kissed me, I didn't know what to do back. I just stood there. I wanted to thank her for showing my assurance, I wanted to smile like an idiot, I wanted to hold her to tell her I that I can't live without her, because I really can't. She showed me the meaning of life. And I know I probably fucked up by telling her I want to divorce, but the only reason was for me to start over, a fresh start. A new beginning.

"No please." I heard soft grunts. I immediately knew it was Ava. I sprinted out of the couch to the room she was sleeping in. Her hands were clenched in a fist as she thrashed, her eyes tightly shut. It pains me to see her like this.

I ran to her side, patting her arm repeatedly. "Ava, wake up." I whisper, I continue to shake her until she wakes up and seats up panting.

"Are you okey?" I ask, placing my hand on her back. She shakes her head and began to cry.

"Oh, don't cry." I whisper, as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder pulling her to my chest.

"You're alright." I say against her head, "I'm right here." I soothe.

"I'm sorry." She shakes her head, moving two feet away from me.

"No, it's okay. What's wrong?" I ask, pained by the way she moved away from me.

I was suppose to be her rock.

"Nothing, Just a small nightmare. You can go." She mumbles, looking away. I could still see her shot red eyes from the moonlight, I could see her cheeks that are stained with fresh tears, that were still rolling down her cheeks.

"Come here." I whisper, opening my arms. She shakes her head and moves even farther into the room.

What's wrong with her?

What did I do?

I maybe have had upset her, but she just looks like she scared of me. At this point I didn't know what to do. My chest clenched uncomfortably, as I neared her. I cringed when she backed up against the wall and she was breathless. Her chest was moving up and down quickly. My own heart beat quickens as I placed my hands against the wall, beside her head. She squirmed, and put her head down.

"Ava, you're killing me." I whisper, I bend down a little to her height. Lifting her chin up with my finger.

"What's wrong?" I ask again.

"Was the nightmare about me?" I ask with clenched teeth. She looked up surprised, her eyes hooded with sadness. She doesn't reply, but her eyes told it all.

"What did I do?" I asked, referring to her nightmare.

"N-Nothing." She mumbled. Her eyes locked on the floor. I bent my arms, so that I was closer to her.