Hiding From Us

9. erick

A week later, I was kicking a soccer ball around with Shain as we tried to soak up the last days of warmth. The sports season was well over, but as we crunched on the frosty grass and made clouds with our breath, it felt like a new season all to itself. 

     This was one of the times where I followed Shain’s lead and wore a toque myself. It was a grey skullcap that she’d bought for me last week in an attempt to make me look sexy, but the skullcap pretended it didn’t. Nevertheless, I had a thick Canucks hoody to keep me warm.

     ‘’He starts to dribble and breaks into a run . . . He’s sprinting down the sidelines, now, desperate to save the game!’’ Shain raised her gloved hands higher for defense in the net and laughed. ‘‘Number seventeen, Erick Lockhart, races towards the goal as the seconds disintegrate like sand . . .’’

     Only Shain would make a sports commentary poetic. 

     I kicked the ball at the net. 

     ‘‘And it’s good!’’ Shain cried, but she dived trying to save it, and her words got muffled as it soared into the netting. She pulled herself up. ‘‘Erick Lockhart has won the game! This will go down in soccer history! Wait, what’s your reward?’’

     I approached her, trying to look seductive, and put my arms around her waist. Both of our knees were stained green. ‘‘How about a kiss from my girlfriend?’’

     ‘’No trophy?’’

     ‘‘Why would I need a trophy when I’ve got you?’’ 

     She shrugged. ‘‘Because a trophy’s more flashy?’’

     I kissed her. After three months of dating, kissing just came naturally, and our lips were moving in sync instinctively. I knew that Shain thought of it as a simple You’re awesome kiss, but I wanted it to be more. God, I was in love with her. I wanted to hide her in my bedroom and run my fingers through her curls and hold her waist while I kissed her again and again and again. 

     She sighed softly as our lips broke apart. My heart tugged. 

     I took a few more kicks at the net, and Shain saved sixty percent of them. The sun started to sink behind the mountains, designing a beautiful display of orange and pink and blue. 

     ‘‘Last shot?’’ Shain said. ‘‘It’s getting cold.’’

     I backed up a few steps and booted the ball high, high, high, until it sailed over the crossbar and into the woods. Shain looked at me and stuffed her hands into her pockets. 

     ‘‘Did you see where it went?’’ she asked. 

     I shook my head. ‘‘It’s adventure time.’’

     She pulled her toque tighter over her pink ears and lead the way through the trees. Shadows stretched out like warm toffee, wrapping through more shadows and then dripping down the hill on the edge of the forest. It was hauntingly beautiful. Shain’s eyes gleamed like pearls. 

     ‘’So,’’ I said. ‘‘This guy Liam.’’

     ‘’Oh! Yeah.’’ Her eyes widened and a tiny grin appeared on her face. ‘’I can’t believe he’s coming back. He’s been gone for a year and a half.’’

     ‘’I don’t think I understand who he is.’’

     She slid her hand into mine. ‘‘He’s my best friend. Well, he was. But we hung out every day and let our imaginations run wild, I guess. And then he moved to Australia and I kept hoping he would come back but I didn’t think he would, and now he is.’’ 

     I suppressed a smile. ‘’Oh, okay. I thought he was, like, an ex that you were really good friends with.’’

     ‘’Ha ha, no. Well. I did have a crush on him in elementary school, but it was just puppy love.’’

     ‘‘Puppy love?’’

     ‘‘Yeah. I was in love with his puppy.’’

     ‘’Ha . . . That sounds really wrong, actually.’’

     She laughed. ‘‘God, it does. Hey, bingo.’’

     She squeezed past a grouping of trees and tossed the soccer ball in my direction. Looking around, I could barely see the field or any of the sky. The trees, tall and thick, shadowed everything. 

     Shain emerged with a cute smile. I glanced at her lips, and my insides squeezed. 

     ‘‘Hey. Come here with me.’’ Taking her hand, I lead her to a more open part of the bush. I sat down on some ferns, still holding her fingers, and when I tugged, she fell onto my lap. My heart skipped a beat. 

     Shain rested a hand on my collarbone and said, ‘‘Oh,’’ answering an unasked question. Her thighs were pressing on mine. I put my hands on her waist and leaned into her a bit. My lips hit her neck, and I kissed her skin softly. Her cheek fell against my forehead. 

     ‘’Oh,’’ she said again, quieter and subdued. 

     I murmured, ‘’I think I’m changing my mind. Could I have many a few more kisses as my reward?’’

     By way of answer, Shain put her arms on both sides of my head as I traced my lips along her jawline, and as I neared home plate, she kissed me. It was equivalent to three months’ worth of kissing, and this one was the one that wrapped it all up. As she twisted her fingers through my hair and breathed into my mouth, everything in my brain shut down except for these: her mouth, her body, her fingers, her smell, her taste. It was all her, and some of it was me, but we were one; I pulled her stomach to mine so as to cement us together. 

     Soon it was cold, cold, cold, and we were trapped inside a bubble of heat, but it wouldn’t last. Shain’s cheek was pressed to mine and her gloves warmed the skin above my collarbone. Seconds later, her phone rang, and she talked to her parents, and they told her that she needed to come home. 

     Her eyes, diamonds in the dark, locked on mine. I kissed her mouth fleetingly. 

     ‘‘Hey,’’ she said. Her voice was hoarse, even though we had not spoken. ‘‘Did you know that I’m infuriatingly in love with this guy?’’

     My nose touched her chin. I closed my eyes. ‘’Oh, are you? Who is he?’’

     ‘‘He’s a soccer player. He has dark hair and these really beautiful green eyes,’’ she said, grinning shyly.

     ‘‘Well, I guess he has no competition, then.’’ 

     ‘‘Yep. He’s all mine.’’

     And then I laughed, and Shain laughed, so I laughed again. I felt a little bit hysterical. I breathed against her skin, ‘‘God, I love you.’’

     ‘‘Well, too bad. ‘Cause I’m already taken by that soccer player dude.’’ And she closed her eyes and cracked up a bit, and I wasn’t sure what to do, but she leaned forward and I held her tightly—one hand at the small of her back, one tight to her shoulder blades—and she whispered, ‘’I love you, too,’’ in my ear. 

     Promise me, I thought. I wanted to be telepathic. 

     I kissed her at her front door. There was nothing but us in this place, this life, with this girl, and this kiss. 

     She didn’t say it. But she did promise me.