Hiding From Us

30. kim

On Friday, two weeks after Liam came, it started to snow. And of course I was overjoyed, because snow meant skiing, and I loved skiing. So I couldn’t sit still during math class, and Robin told me to calm down, but I couldn’t, so Hannah just had to butt in and ruin my good mood. 

     ‘‘This class,’’ Robin said, ‘‘must be torture for Mr. Tedder.’’ 

     Grace frowned. ‘‘Not the whole class. Just Kim.’’

     I said, ‘‘It’s snow.’’ I couldn’t stop bouncing in my seat. 

     ‘’Oh, please.’’ Hannah turned in her seat and glared at me. Her eyes were cold, cold, cold. She said, ‘‘It’s just snow. It’s nothing special. In fact, it’s just freaking stupid.’’

     Suddenly my temper flared up. ‘‘Dude,’’ I told her, ‘‘don’t be pissy. You be happy with your things, and I’ll be happy with mine, okay?’’

     Hannah said, ‘‘Your things. God. Snow and skiing and puppies and freaking Bob. Marley. What the hell. Get a life.’’

     ‘‘God. Don’t be a bitch, Hannah.’’

     Grace looked up because I swore. Robin looked up because she knew by my tone of voice that I wasn’t just swearing with sarcasm. 

     Why the hell was she acting all pissy at me? Hannah and I were in the same gymnastics class and we never got on each other’s nerves. Even though I didn’t know her much and I didn’t really care to, we were never really at each other’s throats. So why was she breaking that streak now?

     ‘‘Why don’t you keep your pussy interests to yourself and just screw off, okay?’’ Hannah snarled. ‘‘The world. Doesn’t. Give. A. Shit.’’

     Grace said, ‘‘Hannah, that’s not very nice,’’ in her gentle, chastising way, but Hannah shot her a glare and she looked down at her shoes. Nobody could blame Grace for trying, but she couldn’t hold the spotlight for long. 

     God. I wanted to slap Hannah. Who did she think she was to criticize what I liked and what I didn’t like?

     Just as I was about to stand and walk over to her ugly face and swear at her and cause her physical harm, Robin snared my wrist in her fingers, and since she was a brown belt in karate, she had an iron grip. 

     She said, ‘‘Kimberley.’’

     Oh, ha ha, Robin. Use my full name. Brilliant idea. It didn’t calm me down in the least. I tried to move, but her grip was tight tight tight. She wasn’t going to let me go. She wouldn’t let me get into a fight. She wouldn’t let Hannah get the satisfaction she wanted from me. 

     Now Grace tried. ‘‘Kim.’’ 

     And I looked at her and I looked at Robin and I looked at Hannah and I said, ‘‘God. Fine.’’ I moved back to sit down; Robin let go of my wrist. 

     Hannah looked at me after a minute, when Robin and Grace had let their guard down. She opened her mouth to say something and I wracked through my brains to say something back, but then she was interrupted by Lindsey and thank God, because it wasn’t until then that I realized how scared I was, how angry and terrified and frustrated I was. I had never been so glad to see Lindsey. 

     They started talking. I could feel Robin looking at me. Grace, who was polite, was focusing back on her math. So I took a deep breath and raised my eyebrows at Robin with a slight grin to show her that I was okay.