When I kissed Shain, I felt like screaming in joy. When Erick got pissed at me, I felt like screaming in fear. And when Shain whispered that she didn’t kiss me back before putting her lips to his, I felt like screaming in rage.
All three of those screams were building up inside of me like an overdue volcano explosion, and any moment, I was going to explode.
Parker and Leigh said goodbye as we left his house. Kim walked next door to her place after smiling at Henry. Grace kissed Adrian for a long couple of seconds before she walked down a block to her house. And then the remaining six of us piled back into Erick’s truck and drove away.
Henry—who was now my new best friend—tried to chat with my quietly as we drove, but he could see that I wasn’t in the mood. I honestly didn’t know what I was feeling. I really hoped that I hadn’t ruined everything between Shain and I. It was just one kiss.
A new scream was born inside of me. It had more words that the others: i love you i want you to love me why can’t you just love me shain.
I had only been here for nine hours and I had already screwed things up.
We dropped off Henry first, then Adrian. As Erick drove down the road to Spencer’s house (he was one of Megan’s ex-boyfriends and an older hockey teammate of mine, and he was letting me stay with him), Robin and Shain chatted quietly about school.
I was afraid to ask, but I had to. I said, ‘’Do I start on Monday?’’
Shain hesitated before answering. ‘‘Yeah. You’re registered, I think. We’ll pick your stuff up from DJ’s tomorrow.’’
She didn’t say anything else after that.
Erick pulled up at Spencer’s, stopping in the glow of a streetlight. Robin and I murmured farewells to each other before I stepped out into the cool night. It was so dark. I’d forgotten the wholeness and blackness of Canadian nights, especially in this small town. But this town—it was Shain’s town. She’d been born and raised here. She was not a city girl.
What am I doing here?
I didn’t need to get anything; all my stuff was already inside. I walked slowly to the door, wondering if she would come out and say goodnight. Being the strange boy that I was, I wanted her to. But I didn’t want her to.
‘‘Hey, wait.’’
So I found myself sighing in relief instead of in fear. I turned and watched her walk up to me in her rhythmic way, like every step was timed to a beat. When we were younger, I used to joke that she had a built-in stereo in her brain, and that’s why she was always tapping her fingers or mimicking guitar chords or doing something that involved a beat.
She put her fingers on my arm and squeezed.
I said, ‘‘Erick’s a good boyfriend.’’
‘‘Well.’’ She glanced at the truck, and I could see him watching us curiously. ‘‘Usually he hasn’t had any need to be protective.’’
Until you came.
The words didn’t come past her lips. But they didn’t need to.
I wanted to say, Kissing you is like a dream.
I wanted to say, Come back, come back and elope with me.
She met my eyes just once before wrapping her arms slowly around my neck and pressing her body to mine. I closed my eyes, and I wanted, I wanted: twelve hours of sleep, a well-paying job, to escape the ringing sound in my brain, a place that smelt like me and felt like me and looked like me and was called home by me, to kiss Shain again, a car that was more attractive that Erick’s, a Coke, the sun on my arms and the beach under my feet, to steal Shain from Erick, to go home, to close my eyes, to stay here, to take the sound out of the world so that nobody would have to hear my screams.
i love you shain.
She let go of me, and I let go of her, and she said, ‘‘I’ll come back tomorrow.’’
Erick’s eyes were on us. I wanted to scream at him, too.
‘‘I’ll be waiting,’’ I replied. Then I cracked a smile so she would sleep easily tonight. ‘’I am so freaking tired. Come a little later, okay? I won’t be up for a while.’’
‘‘Yeah.’’ She grinned slightly, too, but I would still be up half the night. ‘‘Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.’’
‘‘Coolio. G’night, pardner.’’
She laughed, just a little. ‘‘Night, Liam.’’
She got back into the truck; Erick drove away. I watched. I waited. I held my breath and counted to ten.
I screamed until I lost my voice.
YOU ARE READING
Hiding From Us
Teen Fiction❝We can't win. We're fighting a spherical war. We're hiding from us. And we're losing.❞ This is the sequel to Looking At Us, where a new generation of teens come into Shain and Erick’s lives, and love becomes a force of power and weakness.
