Hiding From Us

23. shain

After Liam came out of the bathroom, Megan ran up to him and they embraced. She’d only known him for two years before he moved away, but they’d kind of been crushing on each other before that. Then Liam left, and Megan met other guys, so now it was just a friendly relationship. 

     But when I watched them hug, something inside of me squeezed, and it wasn’t jealousy. I watched the way he touched her: it was firm and secure in a friendly way, with pats on the back and genuine smiles, the way old friends greeted each other. And I remembered the way he’d embraced me: crushed and enduring, his face pressed into my neck, his hands alive on my skin, making me buzz with energy. When he touched me, it wasn’t just eight years of friendship—it was so much more. 

     Liam downed two Cokes, three blueberry muffins, and a giant cookie in less than five minutes. He told us about his time in Australia, about his family, about his school. 

     Megan asked, ‘‘Did you ever get a girlfriend?’’

     Liam said, ‘‘One. But she broke up with me after three days.’’

     Megan said, ‘’HA. I still have a boyfriend.’’

     After another five minutes, we put Liam’s stuff in Megan’s car and she put on the Top 40 station on the radio. Then Kiesza’s Hideaway, which was the song Megan and I liked to call ours, came on, and Liam and I sat in the back, laughing with Megan as the best part of the song came on. 

     ‘‘Ooh,’’ Megan sang, ‘’ah . . . ah . . . ooh . . .’’

     Liam laughed. It had been so long since I’d heard his laugh, and right now it was the best sound in the world. He leaned in close to me—again I was aware of how much taller than me he was—and suddenly his mouth was pressed to my ear. 

     He whispered, ‘’I missed you.’’

     I turned to look at him. He had the same multicolored eyes—a mixture of green, blue, brown, and gray—and his crimson hair still stuck up like he’d just gotten out of bed. Our noses—his freckled, mine plain—were centimeters apart. He smelled really, really good. 

     I replied, ‘’I missed you, too. A lot.’’

     We stayed like that, our eyes locked, our breath mixing. I forgot about everything else in the world. 

     Then Liam grinned and put his arm around me in a brotherly way, which was cool, because I did love him like a brother. But I thought about the way he’d hugged me and the way he’d put his mouth to my ear, and I wondered if both of us had a different relationship in mind.