Loss

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Nothing seems to be different,
But everything has changed,
There's a ticking bomb in my head,
Ready to cause an explosion
In my emotions,
And my body feels like it could shatter at
The lightest touch,

Tears slide down my cheeks,
As they have done in the days and weeks and months,
Threatening to drown me once again
In my sorrow,
This ever present sadness,
From that moment,
When everything was turned upside down,

My world has flipped,
I'm under coercion,
The strain sapping the little strength I had,
And trapped inside my head,
I can't hold it forever,
My guard is my imprisoner,
Barring people out, but keeping me in,

I feel so alone,
Like no one can penetrate my shield,
Worry, confusion and sadness,
Are my only companions,
And they snuffed out the light
In our eyes,
And drained us,
Of all hope.

We lost the fight,
And now I have to deal with all that I've lost,
And I know I can't move on,
Because I'd have to accept that you're gone
I'd never see you again,
I still see your face,
Though I know that you're nowhere near,
I just want to hear your voice one last time.

This pain is killing me,
And I know I have
To let you go
But it hurts so much I keep holding on,
These shards won't bring you back,
And they keep tearing at me inside,
The agony is overwhelming.

I scream into silence,
The surroundings are deaf to my cries,
I kneel and mourn,
And I wish I could numb my feelings,
They're a constant reminder,
A phantom,
Teasing me with
All that I miss.

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