| LUCID |

Chapter | Nineteen

Song for chapter - Feel so close by Calvin Harris

Alex

I heard Elena knock on my door, and when I opened it and she had a smile plastered on her face and two bags in her hand.

"Why hello to you too." I laughed as she pushed past me and ran up the stairs. I followed after her and closed my door.

"I bought us some things for the party." She beamed excitedly. She had two giant bags sitting on the bed. "Elena it's a party, not our wedding." I laughed and plopped my body down beside her.

"First, what we're wearing." She pulled clothes out of one of the bags. She threw me a black lace one-piece. 

"Where's the rest of it?" I asked, holding it up. She threw black denim shorts at me in response. 

"I would ask where the rest of these are, but I know there's nothing more." I laughed dryly, looking down at the cut-off shorts. 

"Alex, you don't have to dress like a saint all the time, you have skin, show it off." She laughed. She pulled out her outfit, which looked a lot like mine except hers was red lace.

She pulled out shoe boxes next, "Okay if you throw those at me-" I warned holding up my hands and we she giggled.

She pulled out a pair of black heels and handed them to me. "I don't hate these," I smiled, looking at them... I love them. 

"Good, they match your outfit perfectly." She smiled, sounding sure of her fashion sense. 

After that, she pulled out numerous makeup products and accessories. We got dressed and I have to admit, I look decent. Even though I'm leaving little to imagine, I like it. I feel freer. 

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Elena doing her makeup. "Oh my god, you look great!" she half screamed causing me to put one of my hands on my ear. 

She got out her phone and took a video of me. "Twirl for me!" She yelled as she recorded me. I twirled and laughed. She's ridiculous, but I love her. 

Grayson

"Twirl for me!" I heard as I watched Elena's story. Then I heard Alex's laugh. Is she really going to wear that out somewhere? I mean not that she doesn't look really, really good, but still. She doesn't dress like that. Alex is very modest for what she has. I don't know any other girl who would hide a body like that. It makes her more appealing. Usually women come around here half-naked, throwing themselves at us. She's... different. Everyone in the room notices her, yet she doesn't do a thing with the attetnion. She doesn't yearn for it like others. 

"What are you watching?" Ethan leaned over the couch and asked. He snapped me out of my thoughts. I wasn't aware the snapchat had been playing on repeat. 

"Nothing," I lied. I clicked off of it, not wanting to make him mad or upset.

"Show me," he ordered me, making me breathe in frustration. I showed him the video and watched his face change from curious, to angry. 

"Where is she going dressed like that?" He asked himself. He sounded like he had a million internal conflicts raging. 

"Hopefully near a pole, I'd throw money at her." I tried joking, but Ethan didn't laugh. My smile faded as I watched him frown. 

"Stop pouting and go get ready, Landon's party starts soon," I spoke, watching him go upstairs.

Alex

I turned off my car and parked it in the line of many others. I felt like my car was pretty far down, although I heard loud music in the distance. My stomach began to turn at the thought of walking into that house. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked, swallowing hard. 

"You think too much! Let's just have fun tonight." She spoke loudly, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the house. 

I walked in and I'm met with the strong smell of alcohol that burned my nose, causing it to scrunch up. "Wow." I spoke loudly, holding my nose. 

"Don't be a puss." Elena mocked, running towards the alcohol. I followed quickly trying not to lose her.

It's been about 15 minutes and Elena is on her third shot, she may be small, but she can take her alcohol. This house is so full. I thought parties like this only existed in movies. It's just as cliche. Red solo cups everywhere, people dancing and grinding on each other, and short skirts. 

"Do you want any?" Elena yelled sliding a shot towards me. I shook my head no, but got distracted when I heard a bunch of yelling. I turned around to see Ethan, Grayson, and Jackson walking into the house and greeting numerous people. Ethan and I made eye contact almost instantaneously; like we could feel each other. I contradicted my previous comment of not wanting alcohol. I took the shot out of Elena's hand before it hit her lips and gulped it down.

"Since when did you drink?" I heard Jackson's voice beside me. 

"Since tonight." I responded as I glanced at Ethan and Grayson. The fact that he's speaking to me is odd, especially with everything going on. 

"You know they're sorry... I'm sorry," He spoke quietly, looking into my eyes. I looked back at him. I can tell he's hurting, and it hurts me. 

"What was I supposed to do Jack?" I asked, holding our eye contact. I felt my voice trying to break apart with each word. I wouldn't allow it. 

"You reacted how a hurt person would, no one can blame you for that." He responded, brushing my hair from my shoulder. 

"It wasn't completely a lie, Ethan was going to break up with her, he just couldn't find the right time." He breathed out slowly, causing me to shake my head at his comment. 

"Grayson shouldn't have told me they were done if they weren't. You guys were the first people I let in since... a long time." I let out a breath. 

"I know and I'm really, really sorry Alex. I never wanted to hurt you, ever. Believe it or not, you're the only one I've let in... since a long time." he mocked me, causing me to smile genuinely. I hugged him tightly, not letting go for a minute. 

"I forgive you, this wasn't your fault." I let go of him. "It was mine." I breathed out, causing him to furrow his brows. Feeling something for any of these men was bound to kill me. This is my fault, trutly. 

I grabbed two shots of alcohol from the counter and handed him one. "To forgiving, and hopefully forgetting," I toasted, as we clinked our glasses together and tilted our heads back, taking down the liquid.
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