| LUCID |

chapter | 23

Alex's pov

Grayson and I walked into the coffee shop, both of our heads immediately tilting up because of the sweet smell of coffee and cakes. We both ordered our coffee and sat down at my regular window seat. 

"This seat makes me feel uncomfortable," Grayson admitted as he shifted in his seat. "Why? This is my favorite seat in the whole shop." I stated, offended by his comment. 

"It's just, your directly by the window, it makes me feel vulnerable. I feel like people are watching me." He laughed crossing his arms. 

"I don't think anyone is going to willingly stare at you," I teased, laughing with him and drinking my coffee. 

The coffee shop door opened signaling the bell to ring. "How may I help you?" The lady said greeting the people who walked in. 

"You've got to be kidding me." I scoffed seeing Ethan and Caroline walking in. Grayson turned around to look at them also. "Maybe it was an acc-" Grayson started, trying to defend Ethan. 

"He knows this is my favorite coffee place, he knew we'd be here," I argued, shaking my head. "Grayson just help in any way you can, I can't stand her." I pleaded with him.

"Care if we join you?" Ethan asked nonchalantly. "Actually we were just leaving." I responded quietly, swallowing hard. I acted like I didn't care earlier, but just seeing them together makes me want to throw up. 

Ethan had his hand draped across her hip. I looked at it and looked away, there's no reason to be angry at him. 

Grayson put his hand in mine, he's playing along too. "Yeah, we're gonna head back to Alex's house. We don't want to waste the time we have alone." Grayson smiled at Ethan, causing Ethan to give him the death glare.

Ethan's face was forming an expression I haven't seen in a while. It was a cold look that he would give to people he didn't like in the hallway, right before he beat the shit out of them. 

"Be careful gray, we all know how much baggage she carries. If she's anything like her parents she might just walk out on you," He leaned closer as he said the last part. Everything felt frozen, like I was stuck. 

"Not cool Ethan," Grayson spoke in a low tone, warning him to shut his mouth. I felt my chest tightening, and my eyes filling. 

"No gray, I haven't even started." He came closer to me, and Grayson stepped in Ethan's way. 

I felt a tear rolling down my face, I don't even know what to say or do. This wasn't the Ethan I knew and grew to care about. It's the old Ethan that I despised. 

"Ethan shut your fucking mouth or the next thing to come out will be your teeth, I mean it," Grayson warned again. He tightened his grip on my hand, I didn't have it in me to even hold on to his hand. 

"Alex let's just go," Grayson spoke, trying to pull me towards the door. My feet weren't moving though.

"Just when I thought there was a sliver of hope left for you." I laughed dryly, wiping tears away. "I lied. I remembered everything from the party, and I was right. You're the biggest liar, and actor for that matter, that I've ever seen." I responded in a hurt voice. 

"I don't think you're capable of caring anyone other than yourself, especially not me Ethan." I breathed out. His face went softer, I know at this moment he regrets everything he said. Too late. 

"Alex-" He started. "I care about you, Ethan. Your specialty is pushing people away, and mine is seeing the best in people, and loving too blindly." I think all my tears were gone at this point, I'm not even sad. I'm relieved, I got what I've been trying to say off my chest. 

His eyes went wide, and it looked like he was about to say something, but I wasn't going to be here when he did. He has Caroline to deal with now, from what all I just said. 

Grayson put his hand on my lower back and guided me towards the door. He looked back at Ethan and shook his head in disappointment. 

-

"Are you sure you're okay?" Grayson asked as we sat in front of my house. "I'm wonderful," I answered sarcastically. I looked over at him in the driver's seat, he held a soft look in his eyes. his eyes were a greenish color now. Usually, they're cold brown like Ethan's.

"You know what Grayson, I actually am okay. I said what I needed to say, even if the feeling isn't returned." I smiled faintly, thinking about earlier.  

"It's not my place to tell you how he feels Alex. But I've never seen him act with girls the way he does with you. You should really give him a chance." He rubbed his head hesitantly, like he didn't like the words that were coming from his mouth. 

"Grayson I've given him so many chances. What if this time I do for real, and he just ropes me into his game of breaking hearts. I can't take something like that Grayson, not now." I let out a breath, it feels so good talking to him. 

"When you said you loved blindly, I think its the opposite. You barely love anyone or let anyone in for that matter, and out of all the people you could have chosen, you chose him. That may be crapy selection, but you knew what you were doing." He smiled. 

Do I love Ethan?  How couldn't you fall for someone like him? 

"He's with her, though. Grayson no matter how hard I try, he goes back to her. It's like I'm never going to live up to his standards. I mean I've seen the girls he's been with!" I raised my voice, now frustrated. They're all so pretty.

"None of those girls are you, Alex. Hell if my brother wasn't in love with you, I'd let go of hoes and settle with you," He said the last part as it was a question, and we were both kind of shocked when he said it. 

"Tell me what to do." I pleaded. "Talk to him Alex, tell him everything you just told me. Tell him your fears, tell him the love you feel for him. Words are more powerful than anything." He responded softly, rubbing my arm. 

"When did you become soft Grayson?" I teased, sending him a warm smile. "Since you came into my life and made me feel something other than a drug high" he smiled again and shrugged.

"Thank you for everything, seriously. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."  I admitted.

"Anytime Alex. Text or call if you need anything, even come over if you need to," He spoke as I opened my door.

 I nodded as I walked into my house, and thought of all the words I could say to Ethan, but there are only 3 words that actually matter. 

-

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well hello. shocker I updated. it's only been like 3 days, but I'm slacking. life is kicking my ass bro. 

comment and vote :)