| LUCID |

chapter || 33

Alex's pov

"Kick! Now punch. Right, left, under. Good Alex!" I heard my instructor yelling at me. "Alright, today's session is over." He spoke, helping me take my gloves off. 

"You know Alex, with a swing like that you could go pro." He smiled. "Yeah, I don't think so." I laughed. I wouldn't ever want that to be my career. I have anger issues on top of all my issues.

"See you next week." I waved walking out of the boxing room. I walked into the warm air, usually, it would feel good but I'm hot and sweaty. 

I walked into a place called 'greens' to get a salad for lunch. I ordered a Caesar salad and an iced coffee. I waited for my order to be called and scrolled through my phone. 

Ethan - I'm sorry for being a dick. 

I saw that message pop up on my phone. I swiped it away and continued looking through Instagram. 

Ethan - ouch, ignoring me? 

I shook my head and kept scrolling. He's annoying even through text. He keeps apologizing, yet he keeps making the same mistakes. There's no point in trying with him anymore. 

"You leaving me on read pisses me off." I heard someone say from behind me. Ethan.  "You being a dick pisses me off, your point?" I shrugged walking to get my food. 

I sat at a table by the window as usual, and I felt him following. He pulled out a chair right in front of me and sat down and stared at me. 

"Do you guys follow me everywhere or?" I asked setting my phone down and looking up at him. "As you can see, the guys aren't with me. And I think your the one following me because I was here first," He responded sassily, grabbing my coffee and taking a sip. 

"What do you want Ethan?" I asked, grabbing my coffee back from him, causing him to roll his eyes. 

"Do you really wanna know what I want?" He smirked and I felt his hand go to my thigh under the table. 

I smacked his hand away and rolled my eyes. "Classic Ethan." I scoffed. "I'm kidding Alex. I  just want to talk." He raised his hands in defense. 

"Why? So we can continue this tiresome cycle of you lashing out over stupid shit,  saying stuff to hurt my feelings, then me telling you to leave me alone but you don't listen and bother me anyway?" I asked more seriously, explaining the entire cycle. That's exactly what happens every five seconds. 

"Alex, I'm not used to this stuff,  I'm not used to feeling these things." He responded. "Is that all Ethan? You're telling me things I already know." I laughed quietly.

"I'm just not used to caring about someone, so every time I see you with a guy, or something along those lines I just get jealous I guess." He shrugged playing with his fingers. 

"Is that the half-ass apology that you think is gonna make me crawl back into your trap? Mm nope, not happening." I waved with my hand. 

"You know what, I'm not hungry anymore. I'm gonna head home." I responded, grabbing my salad and sliding Ethan the coffee. 

I walked out the door and saw all three of the guys leaning against their car. "So are you guys good now?" Landon asked with a smile on his face. I looked back at Ethan who was behind me, he was motioning for Landon to shut up. He said they weren't here. 

"There is no 'you guys'. I think its best if all of you guys just stayed away from me." I responded. "Not this again," Grayson threw his hands up dramatically as I walked away. 

I finally reached my jeep and put my food in the passenger seat. "Alex, please," Ethan pleaded in a desperate tone. He had jogged over to me before I could get into the driver's seat. 

"For god's sake Ethan, what do you want from me?" I asked loudly. "I just want you." The desperation in his voice was unmatched. I felt soft just looking at his face, he was being sincere, and here I am being a bitch. The usual. 

"I'm sorry that I keep screwing up. I'm sorry if I'm just a screw up myself. I don't have bad intentions with you Alex. I just can't stand when your not around me, or when I can't call or come see you when I need to because your upset with me." He tried to explain in a calm voice. 

"Alex, I love you. If that isn't enough for you to stay then tell me now." He pleaded with me quietly, looking down at me. 

I loved him too, but I know this is never going to work out. 

I walked closer to him and looked him straight in his eyes. He had so many emotions swirling in there. I leaned up and connected our lips, he grabbed the sides of my face lightly kissing back. 

I let go and wrapped my arms around him. "As stupid as I am for feeling this way, I love you too." I said resting my head on his chest. 

I let go of him and took my keys out of my pocket. "I have to go," I spoke again, motioning towards my car. He nodded, and I turned around. 

"Wait, Alex." He spoke again and I turned around. He grabbed my face and kissed me again, this time not as soft. More like he needed it. 

I looked at him confused. "I just wanted another one." He smiled letting go of my face. I smiled back and got in my jeep.

- next day - 

I hopped out of the jeep that I had just parked at school. I had black boots on, denim shorts, and a black t-shirt on. Now that it's getting hot, this will probably be my regular outfit. 

"Alex!" I heard someone yell from across the parking lot. I looked over and saw Ethan waving with a smile on his face. The guys were getting their stuff out of the car, they looked dead. 

I grabbed my bag and walked over to him. He immediately grabbed my face and kissed me. "Good morning to you too." I laughed stepping back. 

"Morning Grayson," I beamed, smiling as he stepped out of the car. He looked at me with a straight face and kept walking. okay, guess he's not a morning person. 

We all headed towards the school, and as we reached the door Ethan grabbed my hand. I looked down at our intertwined fingers. "What are you doing?" I asked looking back at him. Ethan has never shown affection for any girl in school. Not serious affection at least. 

"Can I not hold hands with my girlfriend ?" He asked putting his hand on his hip like a girl. Girlfriend? Girlfriend? That's new, let me not freak out. 

"Do you not want to hold my hand?" he asked, smirking at my surprised face. All the guys were as shocked as I was. 

"I want to hold your hand!" Landon yelled and everyone started laughing. "No, I want you to. But are you sure you want to hold mine in front of people?" I asked for clarification, looking at the school doors. "Is there a reason I shouldn't?" He asked confused. 

I shook my head no, and opened the school doors and walked in with Ethan. We walked to my locker and I felt eyes on me, but at that moment I didn't care because he was right beside me. 

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well, we're making progress.