Pretend // Brandon Arreaga

29- I Can't Do This

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Caroline didn't know where to go where she could avoid Brandon. It was hard to do that in his own house. Lucky for her, Zion was letting Kelsey stay in his room while he roomed with Austin. Kelsey sat at his desk and stared at Caroline who was sitting on his bed.

"Are you going to tell me why you're mad?" Kelsey finally asked.

"He still talks to Charlotte." Caroline mumbled.

"Well that's no big deal. Not everyone cuts off their ex's if it ended decently." Kelsey shrugged.

"They typically don't look down at their phones in admiration either when they broke up because of distance." Caroline stated, looking up at Kelsey.

That stumped Kelsey. She didn't have the words to comfort her with that. Of course, she had heard how they'd broke up because of distance, but she figured he had moved on at least.

"Could you be overreacting? I mean did you read the text or anything?" Kelsey asked.

"Nope. I left too quick, but I shouldn't have too! He shouldn't have been texting her in the middle of our conversation about spending time together." Caroline said, raising her voice.

"Oh, true, sis." Kelsey replied, crossing her arms. "But, it wouldn't hurt to hear him out."

Caroline glared her. She was bound and determined to not talk to him the rest of the night. Why would she completely change her life for someone who was still in love with his ex? He liked the idea of her being around him until she told him her plans to move, now all he was doing was trying to convince her to stay in Phoenix.

"If I didn't move, would you still come? Because I want you to move here if you want too." Caroline asked in a small voice.

Kelsey leaned closer to Caroline. She could see the pain running through her eyes, something she wished to take away from her. Caroline was more than a best friend to her and if Caroline wasn't going to be in LA then she wasn't either.

"I go where you go. You're much more important to me than Zion is to me." Kelsey said, grabbing ahold of her hands.

"No, I want you to do what you want. I don't know what's going to happen with me and Brandon, but I've made amazing friends with the people in this house and I hate to lose them just because of Brandon." Caroline said, a smile etching it's way into her face.

"You need to smile more instead of cry; you're much prettier." Kelsey smiled.

"I know." Caroline nodded, standing up off the bed. "I think I'm going to bed now."

Kelsey nodded in agreement. Caroline didn't bothering changing her clothes because that meant she'd have to go to Brandon's room and grab some clothes. Kelsey climbed in the bed beside her and cuddled up to her. It seemed like months ago they had done this exact thing last time Brandon broke her heart in two.

Brandon was so disappointed in himself for upsetting her like that. He sat in his room looking at her bags, hoping and praying she'd at least come to get something so he could talk to her. He knew not to pressure or chase after her because that only made it worse. He hadn't expected her to blow up like that on him, but he realized he was in the wrong too.

The next morning was even worse. The tension in the kitchen was so thick and the atmosphere was awkward as everyone shuffled around trying to not stir the pot worse. Slowly, everyone left the kitchen forcing them to be alone for a few seconds. Caroline got up to leave, but Brandon reached out and grabbed her hand. Tingles still short through her arm like they always had when he touched her. She sat back down and looked at him. Her eyes still held so much pain in them making him feel like he was 2 inches tall.

"What?" She said, barely above a whisper.

"I love you, Care. That's never going to change. Charlotte is always going to be a friend to me too. I couldn't just stop loving her overnight." Brandon said, making eye contact with her.

"I never said you had to stop loving her overnight. I will not pursue this relationship while you're still in love with her." Caroline retorted.

"Caroline, I love you! I wanna be with you, not her!" He yelled, throwing his hands up. Brandon had hardly ever been one to raise his voice, but he was getting annoyed with her thinking he didn't love her.

"Do you, Brandon? Have you not been pretending this whole time? You and her only broke up because of distance. If she moved here you'd run right back to her and you know it deep down." Caroline said, standing up from the table. "Is this how it's always going to be between us? Someone coming between us?"

Brandon sighed and looked down at the table. He had been trying so hard to force things out of his mind to the point where Caroline had been placed on a back burner while they weren't together.

"Don't do that, Care. We've worked way too hard to get where we are. Do not do whatever you're about to do." Brandon pleaded.

"I can't do this Brandon. I'm changing my whole life around to be near you and it's like you're so in love with her that you're pushing me away. We've barely talked this weekend and you're fine with that." She said, tears springing from her eyes.

"Caroline, I'm begging you to not do this. I'm just asking you to give me time to figure all this out. I really do want to be with you, Care." Brandon begged, his voice cracking.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now while you figure out whatever you want. Maybe I'll still be around when you decide." Caroline stated, walking away from him.

He could hear her crying as she walked away. He was tired of making her cry all the time, she didn't deserve to cry that much over him. He wanted to hug her and hold her close, he wanted to tell her Charlotte was in the past and that he was all about her, but he couldn't do it. Charlotte three a wrench in his plans by announcing to him she had considered moving to LA to rekindle their relationship and he couldn't bring himself to tell her he had Caroline now. It felt wrong on all levels to tell Charlotte he was attempting to move on and it felt wrong to try and hide it from Caroline that he still loved Charlotte to a certain point. Neither of them deserved what he was throwing at them.

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