Marvel/Avengers One-Shots

Comebacks - Pietro x Reader

Your eyes flung open, excited for today. Today was Avengers Insult Day. The team would have it once a month because people kept insulting others out of complete nowhere.

If they did trophy worthy insults and it wasn't Insult Day, you had to come up with a punishment from them. They knew that would be oh so terribly bad.

You got dressed and headed for the living room. You knew most of the team would be in there, besides Steve and Bruce. They hides in their rooms all day, afraid of Insult Day.

When you reached the living room, everyone was there. Tony, Natasha, Pietro, Wanda, Bucky, Clint, Sam, Thor, and Loki.

"Hello, assholes." You greeted, jumping to sit on the couch in between Natasha and Clint. Sam said, "Oh, it's just you, Y/N. I was afraid it was somebody important."

You scoffed, "I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did." A few people snickered as you gave him a cocky look.

Thor said, "That was a good one, Lady Y/N. Though, you should probably let the pros handle this." Loki suddenly said, "It must be difficult for you, Thor, exhausting your vocabulary in one sentence."

You snickered. Thor said to you, "Oh, be quiet, moron." You said back, "If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise, you're just an ass."

Tony said, "Luckily, I have the brains. I can be smart and an ass." You turned to him, "Are you sure about that?"

Tony rolled his eyes, "Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe soon you'll find that brain of yours." Pietro snickered, "The last time I heard that one, I fell off my dinosaur."

You chuckled, "Why were you riding on Bucky?" Bucky glared at you slightly, "Low blow, Y/N." You respond, "No thanks. Steve can take care of that job for you."

Bucky stood up and left the room. Everyone laughed their asses off. Tony said, "If you ran as fast as your mouth, Y/N, you'd be in pretty good shape."

"I may be chubby, but chubby can slim down. Ugly just can't be fixed." You responded. Tony responded, "You're dumb, though. I can get plastic surgery."

You said, "Everyone is entitled to be stupid. You, however, abuse the privilege." Everyone in the room said, "Ooohh."

Tony turned to Natasha, "Why so quiet? Do you not have any smarts to know how to speak?" You could tell he instantly regretted going for Natasha.

She said, "No one plans a murder out loud, Tony." Tony shut up and sat back in his seat. You looked at Clint and said, "Hey, Clint. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen."

Clint said, "You're a bitch." You said, "Say it again." Clint repeated, "You're. A. Bitch." You said, "Bitches do what they're told."

Pietro said, "Hey, Y/N. What's that smell? Oh, it must be you." You told Pietro, "It's called soap. Maybe you should try some."

Pietro says, "Is your ass jealous of all the shit that came out of your mouth?" You respond, "Y'know, I try to see things from your prospective, but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass, asshole."

Pietro says, "How'd you recognize me? You must be shit." You said, "How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

Pietro responds, "The same amount of time it takes you to be an ass." You say, "Thanks. I try to be more like you."

At this point, everyone is just listening and going 'oohhh' when either of you say something. You both were stood in the middle of the living room, in each other's faces.