Hellishly Angelic || jjk ✓

chapter forty-four

**This chapter has mentions of suicide and depression. I wanted to let you know in advance!!**

I squeeze some hand sanitizer on my hand and rub it on my mosquito bite, sighing.

"I really need to clean my room," I hear Jungkook walk into his bedroom. "What are you doing?" he asks, coming behind me.

"If you put hand sanitizer on a mosquito bite," I say, turning around to face him, "It helps get rid of the itchiness."

"Wow, that's innovative," he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him.

"How is that innovative?" I ask, giggling. "It's just something that my mom told me when I was younger."

He purses his lips, "I can't believe they thought that was a hickey."

"That's expected of them though," I say, and he chuckles. "You're right."

He gazes at me for a moment before speaking again, "I think you deserve to know something."

"Hm? Like what?"

"Something that I've only told the guys. Nobody else, except for now, you." He tilts his head toward the bed. "Let's sit down."

We sit down next to each other, and he takes my hand in his. "What is it?" I ask gently.

He takes a breath before starting, "Whenever I was younger, I had a lot of problems with my family."

He told me about his family problems once, but he didn't go into depth. And I didn't ask him to either.

I gaze at him intently, listening carefully.

"I was born here in Busan, but I had to move to Seoul when I was around three years old. My dad was always tending to his job. He was always so money hungry. And my mom..." his voice trails off. "She had severe depression, and my dad didn't do anything to help her. And one day...she committed suicide."

I feel his hands starting to tremble, and I take them in mine, squeezing them gently.

"Whenever I got older, I did everything I could to rebel against my father. I drank, I stayed out late, I held parties at our house, I did everything he didn't want me to do. But one night, I came home really, really drunk."

I see tears brimming at the edges of his eyes. "I blamed him for my mother's death. I looked at him and saw him as the reason for her suicide."

He gulps, "So, I took a lot of the money he had in his safe, and came here. I spent a lot of it on alcohol and drugs, stuff that I don't want anything to do with how."

He turns his head and looks at me, "But I also used it to open up the shop with Jimin. In fact, Jimin was my only friend at the time. He's my best friend, really. Through him I discovered the other guys, and we all grew really close. They practically raised me and made up for what I went through as a child."

He softly smiles, "And then I met you."

I smile warmly, wiping away the tears that have slid down his cheeks. "Thank you for telling me that."

"You deserved to know, especially after how long we've known each other now."

"You know that you can tell me anything, right? I'm here for you, Jungkook. I'll always be here for you," I say, cupping his face with my hands.

"God, I love you," he whispers, pressing his lips against mine.

{ A / N }

ehhh i didn't know how else to end this one