Frozen Peas and Broken Knees

I hope this hurts you as much as you've hurt me

I'm an all A's student.
I've done nothing but work to impress my whole life.
And yet you still push me.
Push me.
Push me.
I'm about to shatter under the pressure.

Actually, no, I HAVE shattered under pressure.

I've worked hard to impress.
Have you ever even noticed?
Noticed how hard I push myself already to make you proud of me?

Have you ever noticed how much it hurts me when you put me down like you do?

All I ever do is try to make you happy, make you proud, make you LOVE ME.

And you tear me apart.

Limb from limb.
Flesh from bone.
Soul from body.

Do you have any idea how hard I try?
You think I'm not trying hard enough?
Not enough effort?
I know how I'm put together because I constantly pick myself apart.

Social anxiety.
Diagnosed.
Medicated.

You KNOW this.

You think this doesn't still effect how I interact with people?
You think it's something I can simply just overcome?

MENTAL CONDITION.

Sure, Mom, let me just break your leg.
Start walking.
You can't?
Rubbish. Just simply overcome it.

There's so much going on underneath the deceitful surface of my skin.

But would I ever tell you that? No.

Do I want you to think that there's SO MUCH wrong with me? No.

So please, keep pulling me apart.
Please keep tearing down my self image and worth.
PLEASE keep making me less of a human being.

"You look like a skank."

"That's so trailer trashy."

"You're not trying hard enough."

"Well what school do you want to be in? Because this is CLEARLY not working out."

"You're so immature."

"I expect more out of you."

I'm 15 for Christ sake.
LET ME BE A NORMAL TEENAGER.
Let me be young,
Immature,
Goofy,
Childish.

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me??

You.

You're wrong with me.