this is a bunch of my ramblings... the second paragraph is an actual poem if you can even read it
Im so stressed i wanna cry or die probably both i cant think right im just ranting all the thoughts that come to my mind while listening to billie eilish and i think im crying but im not really sure im very tired and stressed all the kids are in my room and its really got my nerves on end i kinda want to scream but i cant or id get in trouble and i dont want that to happen because mom scares me im so tired sos o tired and i am probably just procrastinating my butt off but i dont really care and honestly i could care less about school i just am trying so hard to make mom and dad proud of me and ughhhhhh i just remembered i have a doctors appointment tomorrow oh well oh wait its on tuesday im good im not really good im pretty numb and kinda sad but im trying not to carve myself up like a pumpkin on halloween cuz if ido kim will cry and ill have to wear long sleeves and i really dont wanna do that because its hot outside oh cool shannon just texted me she says she'll be home wednesday and thursday rad i really miss her i need a vacation from life for a long time i saw a video the other day about a place in the us called slab city and theres no power or rules and stuff it seems weird and cool i like it shep is bugging me and i don't really want to talk to him i could care less about grammar right now i could care less about a lot of things right now but whatevs its cool its fine im fine i dont need help im self destructive but im okay no im not yes i am im so tired and i hate when my mind wont stop like this oh well its not like i can do anything about it bleh my eyes hurt i cant remember the last time i blinked i feel like death i probably sound insane i probably am but that okay everything's okay im so i dont know the word to describe what i feel right now
life could be limitless and beautiful but we weigh it down with our own self deprecation and greed until we are all covered in a cloud of sad like a type of sad that makes you fade in and out of concentration the kind of sorry that is more numb and melancholy than anything a feeling of falling gently to the earth in a lightning storm while everything falls apart around you the kind that's so sad and peaceful you cant help but sigh and let the tears fall from your eyes and disappear with the rest of the rain and im trying my god im trying so hard but i cant find a way out of this endless misery im in and i can smile through it like all the other dramatic fakers of the world but i will not die and fade like them i will go out with a bang of chaotic melancholy i will leave you speechless i will self implode like the dying star i am and i will kiss this world goodbye with a bow of my head as i fall back into theendless black void and float on until the end of time or until my mind and body finds peace
YOU ARE READING
Frozen Peas and Broken Knees
PoetryCompleted (book 1 in a poetry series) *Trigger Warning* Triggering topics will be described and discussed in this book. Read at your own risk. Here is a collection of my poetry. Nothing more. Nothing less. I hope you delight in my deterioration...~
