Chapter 4

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Tony’s POV

What did I just do? 

I was drunk out of my mind just three hours ago, but I think I asked Evie out. I also think I promised her that I would give up acid and alcohol, my only two escapes to my messed up world.

Just thinking about giving those up, even for Evie, stresses me out so much. When school ends, I walk to the nearest convenience store, just one block over. Before I know it, I find myself face to face with bottles of alcohol. I grab a bottle of Vodka because it’s only three bucks and I know I’ll be drunk as soon as I start sipping.

I flash my ID at the cashier who probably knows I'm underage, but is too stoned to care. 

Walking towards my neighborhood, I take a detour through Shinn Park.

When I was little, my dad used to bring me here on Saturday afternoons and I would play on the playground for hours until it got dark. Then he would take me to Grande Rancho and let me order whatever I wanted.

This park used to be a safe place for me. In some ways it still is. But now, it's where I go to get away.

I walk through the park, passing moms and babies racing around the play structures until I find the trail that leads to the very back of the park. No one ever comes back here, and it's the perfect place to get drunk off my ass and forget about everything.

I slump down behind a tree, slip the neck of my bottle through the paper bag and start sipping. As soon as the vodka hits my tongue, I feel so much better. I smile a little and keep drinking.

It’s still light outside when I finish the bottle. When I stand up, I sway a little and laugh at myself. I stumble back down the trail and manage to make it to the Boys and Girls Club off Hamilton. 

When I was in middle school, I would come here after school while my mom was at work. Now alcohol is my babysitter.

I go in through the back door and fall into one of the older bean bags in the storage room. Then everything goes black.

"Tony? Is that you?"

I feel something nudge my side and wake up to a splitting headache and a bad taste in my mouth.

"Tony, you gotta wake up now."

I slowly open my eyes and see Evette standing over me with a concerned look on her face.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe." I try to joke.

"Tony." She’s pissed but the alcohol isn’t letting me care.

"Yeah, so what? I had a bottle of vodka negrita. What do you care?"

"What do I—" Evette throws her hands up and gets in my face. "I care because this is the Boys and Girls club, and isn't the best thing to have some drunk loser stumbling around.”

“Mm not some drunk,” I say, slurring my words. 

"Oh really? Then please Tony, what are you?" 

“I gew uhp cawming to thees place y yo wanted to see que it looked.”

"So you decided that you would get wasted and pay your old friends a visit? You're so drunk!"

“Give me a break Evette. You’re like a freakin’ cop or something.”

"I thought we had a deal. You promised to stop."

"Yeah well, I'm not good with promises Evette. "

"Stop. Calling. Me. Evette."

“That’s your name.”

"Ugh! You're impossible, you know that Tony?" Evie is glaring at me now and suddenly all the vodka I drank is threatening to come back up. I groan and try to hold it together.

“You want me to leave?” I ask, trying to stand up. As soon as I’m off the bean bag chair, my legs buckle and I’m back where I started.

Evie sighs loudly and finally returns to her old self.

“No,” she says. “You’re too out of it. Just hang out here until my shift is over in an hour. I’ll walk you home then.”

Evie leans down to put a trash can in front of me.

"Just don't puke on the floor. I'm already pissed and the last thing I wanna do is clean up after you."

"Okay mama—" I don't finish my sentence because my stomach gives up and my vodka and mac and cheese empties into the trashcan. 

“I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“Don’t apologize to me.” Evie shrugs. “I’ll go grab you some water and Advil. Just sit tight okay? Try and sleep it off. I'll be back in a bit.”

“Okay,” I say. A part of me feels guilty for already relapsing as soon as I made my promise to Evie.

And the other part? It can't wait for the next bottle.

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