Chp 65

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Paris's POV
Auntie Janet checked me into some rehab about a week ago. It's been a total shit show. I miss my bed, I miss Chris, I miss having my privacy... and I really miss Dad. I miss his calming voice telling me that everything is gonna be okay. Right now, I don't know if it will. I'm constantly agitated, get really bad chills, constant nausea, and the list continues. The doctors said these are all symptoms of withdrawal, but that doesn't make the process any easier.
I feel like I said too much, and left plenty unsaid at the same time. I took out all my frustration on Mia and Dad. My feelings towards Mia, weren't meant to hurt her feelings. But I know it did. Things were going so well between us, but I don't know what changed. My thoughts were quickly interrupted with a knock on the door. A staff member entered and reminded me that my therapy appointment starts in 5 minutes. I internally groaned, as I pulled on a sweater over my tank top. I hesitantly made my way to Rachel's office.
     I've had one session with her so far. She's a middle aged woman, who gives off plenty of maternal vibes. A little too much for my mommy issues. She's nice and all, but I don't like talking about the nitty gritty details of my life. No one understands it, and no one ever will. I entered her office and closed the door behind me. She looked up and welcomed me in with a warm smile. "I'm glad you made it Paris. You look good dear," she said enthusiastically. I rolled my eyes and took a seat in front of her. "Why the eye roll? You don't think you look good?" she asked.
     I pulled the sweater around me tighter, feeling chills and sweating at the same time. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Withdrawal can be hard, but you're making progress. That's all that matters," she said. Once again, her smile plastered across her face. "Is there anything you want to share about your stay here so far?"
     "I hate it," I snapped back.
     "I know you do. But believe me, you'll leave here feeling much better. Trust me," she reassured me.
     "I'll believe it when it happens," I said with no emotion.
     "Let's talk about your family today," she stated. I couldn't have rolled my eyes any harder. That's the LAST thing I want to talk about. "Come on honey, give me something," she said with a smile.
     "Well, what do you want to know?" I replied.
     "Look, I'm not going to act like I don't know who you are. I know you have a pretty unconventional life compared to others. So please share anything you feel comfortable sharing. I won't force anything out of you. Whatever you say in here, stays confidential under HIPPA. So don't worry." she said.
     I let out a sigh, preparing myself for all the bullshit I'm finally going to be letting out today. I glanced down at my hands, trying to collect all my thoughts. "Well, I have quite a small immediate family. It's just my Dad, two brothers, and sister," I said.
"You guys recently adopted your sister right?" she asked.
"Yup," I said with very little emotion.
"And how did you feel about that?" Rachel asked.
"I didn't get a chance to feel. Dad pretty much made the decision on his own, and expected us to be okay with it," I explained.
"And I'm guessing you weren't too okay with it?" she inquired.
"Well, not at first. But Dad didn't really give me a choice. I got along with her for a while after that," I said.
"But those suppressed feelings came back huh?" Rachel questioned. I stared at her blankly for a few seconds. I actually hadn't thought about it like that. "Paris, sometimes when we don't work through our feelings, especially negative ones, they tend to creep up on us. You were clearly upset about getting a new sibling without a heads up. But you never really got to express it or talk about it, for your Dad's sake. How close are you to your Dad?"
     I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands. "He's my whole world. I will never love anyone as much as I love him. But... things haven't been the easiest in the past few years. We fight a lot. And now that he has a replacement for me, things haven't been the same at all," I said sadly.
     "Replacement as in your sister?" she asked.
     "Look... I love Mia, I really do. But I can't help how I feel," I said with teary eyes.
     "I know. And this is something you will have to speak to your dad about, when we have group therapy here next week," she replied. My eyes shot up at her.
     "Wait what?!" I exclaimed.
     "We have family members come in for group therapy after you've spent about 2-3 weeks here. It's going to help with you in the long run dear," she said. As much as I miss Dad, I'm not ready to face him. Not yet at least...

*Sorry this was such a late and short chapter. I've been super busy with finals. But I'll try to write and post more frequently ❤️*

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