He Saved Me

Chp 66

Michael's POV
I feel like I'm in a daze. I'm about to see my little girl after weeks. I've been hurting ever since Paris had been sent to rehab. I try to put on a brave face for the kids, especially Mia. But it's been so hard. I'm walking down the hall to the counselor's office at the rehab. I don't know why I'm so anxious. I don't know how angry Paris is at me. I don't even know if she wants to see me. The staff member knocked on the door before letting me into the office.
     As soon as I entered, I almost got knocked down. Paris came running into me before I could take a breath. She had her arms wrapped around me, and her head against my chest. "I missed you so much Daddy!" she cried. God, I missed her so much. I held her tight, trying to make up for all the weeks I was unable to. She finally pulled away, and all I could see were her tear filled blue eyes.
     "I've missed you so much babygirl," I said as I wiped away a few tears. I didn't realize tears were running down my face as well. Seeing and holding Paris after so long, finally made me feel okay. Things felt stable for once. My daughter is okay. She doesn't hate me. These were the only words running through my head. Our little moment was interrupted with someone clearing their throat. We turned our heads in her direction, bringing us back to reality.
"Mr. Jackson.... i-its's an honor to meet you. I'm Rachel, Paris's counselor here," she said with a shaky voice. I couldn't keep in a chuckle, seeing as how flustered she seemed. I've been famous my whole life, but seeing fans trying to compose themselves around me never gets old. It's endearing to say the least.
"Likewise," I said with a smile.
"Please, have a seat," she said with a hand gesture. We all settled down, while Paris looked uncomfortable. I guess all of this was quite uncomfortable. "I just want to start off by saying that Paris has been making remarkable progress. She's on the right path, so no need to worry," she stated. I could feel the tension leave my shoulders as Rachel informed me. I've been so worried about my little girl.
"That's good. I'm really proud sweetheart," I said to Paris. I know the circumstances are strange, and never in a million years did I think I would be in a situation like this with any of my children. But every milestone counts. I want Paris to understand the happiness I feel, knowing that she's safe and getting to a healthier state in her life. Paris flashed that beaming smile of hers, something I thought about every single day the past few weeks.
"That being said, I understand you both have some unresolved issues. And I think that working through them will help Paris make an easier transition to sobriety," Rachel said matter-of-factly.
"Yes... anything that will help. I'm open to anything," I replied. That really was the truth. At this point, I'm willing to do anything to get my little girl back to her old self.
"Paris? Do you want to start?" Rachel prompted. Paris fidgeted with her fingers for a few seconds before looking at me. She opened her mouth but closed it again. I could tell she was struggling. So I decided to start, and hopefully have her feel more at ease.
"Babygirl.... I just want you to know that I'm sorry," I said with an aching heart. "I should've been there for you."
"No no... ugh. Daddy, you were there. You were always there," Paris replied with teary eyes.
"Let me finish sweetheart. I was there, but I wasn't really there. I know being my child can't possibly be easy. And it's not something I will ever understand. I should've helped you ease into this "world". I hid you and your brothers from the cameras for years, and kind of threw you out there when I felt you were old enough. And I can only imagine how nerve wrecking that was," I admitted.
"But you did the best you could," she mumbled. My heart felt so heavy. All I ever wanted, was for my babies to understand that I really tried my best. I made mistakes, I'm human. But given the circumstances I was in, given the fame, and all the fruits of it.... I tried to be the best father I could be. And to hear those words come out of her mouth, made me feel something I can't even describe.
"You're right... but that doesn't mean I'm not sorry. I love you so much Paris. Please talk to me babygirl," I pleaded. Paris let out a sigh, and let the tears stream down her face.
"Things changed Daddy. Everything changed. You were my whole world. You still are my whole world. But I feel like you don't understand me. You're closer to the boys, and now with Mia... it's like I don't even exist," she cried.
"Paris.... baby, I'm sorry you feel that way. It's not that I don't understand you. I always knew you would be different from your brothers. You were stronger and braver. From a very young age, you had a spark. I felt like you didn't need the extra push. You already had it in you. But your brothers needed the push. And I tried to spend more time with them. But that doesn't mean you mean any less to me," I explained.
"Okay, but you can't deny that Mia replaced me. I'm all grown up, and she's your little girl," Paris mumbled. I rubbed my chin, trying to figure out how to level with her. But she spoke up before I could. "You didn't even ask me before adopting her. You didn't even ask me if I wanted a sister. What if I was already happy with our little family? What if I didn't want anyone stealing you?" she said raising her voice. Her tears were uncontrollable at this point.
She's right. I didn't ask. I never realized it would hit her so bad. I didn't think it would be this serious. How often do parents ask for permission before having kids? Mother and Joseph never did for sure. But I guess it's different when it's a child and a baby. Paris was an adult and Mia wasn't a baby. It's harder for them to bond. "You're right. I should've asked you and your brothers. We should've discussed it beforehand. I'm sorry sweetheart," I said.
The room was eerily quiet after that. I didn't know where to go from here. I didn't take her feelings into consideration. But how do I explain to Paris, what I felt in my heart when I saw Mia in the hospital? Beaten up and hopeless. I felt a connection with her. And hand to God, I know for a fact that I was meant to be her father. I know it in my heart.
"Paris..." I spoke up. "I know that wasn't easy for you. But reality is, Mia is in our lives. She's your sister, and she loves you very much. She hasn't seen much love in her short life. We're the only definition of love to her. When I found her in that hospital, she had the life beaten out of her. She was bruised up and holding on by a thread of hope, that one day her life will get better. Her biological parents weren't good people baby. We saved her. We loved her. But that doesn't mean she replaced you."
Paris continued to play with her fingers. "Paris, please look up. You need to understand this. No one... and I mean no one, will ever replace you. I have enough space in my heart for the both of you. No one can take your place in my heart. You have to know that," I explained. "Mia is innocent in all of this. She's a child. A child with a traumatic past, who clings on to me emotionally. I have to give her extra attention and care, to heal her. We all do. You understand that, don't you babygirl?"