Reasons - m.c

Chapter 37

I Don't Know How You Do It

Michael's P.O.V

The second I walked into the apartment, I was so happy. The guys took me in for a group hug & I fully realized how much I missed them all since being gone. I handed them each the notes I wrote & they all seemed very willing to read them. But then I brought Shay in & it changed. I mean Calum & Luke seemed okay with it but I could tell in Ashton's eyes that he was pissed she came along.

I know he warned me to be careful with her. He said that I'd just hurt her like I hurt everyone else but Ashton hadn't met her yet, he hadn't spoken to me yet about what I've thought about & how I've changed so he had no right to judge this situation & especially not right in front of Shay. I mean what a slap in the face to her.

Normally, I'd just yell back & bitch him out but instead I decided to just leave the situation. I wanted to walk away before I made anything worse.

I took Shay over to my room but once inside, I just couldn't take it.

I didn't want to cry in front of her so I tried to hide it but she knew me too well.

It was just the combination of Ashton dissing Shay right in front of her face & the fact that he didn't believe that I was capable of actually not hurting Shay. Even after being gone for two months, I honestly think Ashton believes I haven't changed a bit, he never gave me a chance to show him either.

Shay came over & sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing my back until I calmed down.

"Do you want to talk at all, Mikey?"

"No, not really. We can talk later." I told her.

"That's fine."

"Can you just lay here with me for a little bit?" 

"Of course." & then Shay scooted over next to me & I took her under my arm. At least this felt right, even if being with my band didn't.

I think all of the emotions took over & wore me out because all of that along with jet leg & I was out for a nap.

Shay's P.O.V

Seeing Michael upset really hurt me, I didn't like seeing him cry. I was actually glad he took a nap, maybe he needed a little rest.

I'm not sure why but for some reason I felt compelled to go talk to the other three boys, so I slowly slid out from under Michael's hold & walked back out to the others. They were sitting on the couch & I overheard their conversation.

"Should we read these notes then?" Luke asked.

"I don't know. I'm still pissed to be honest." 

"Why? What's so bad about this Ash?" Calum asked him.

I tried to make my footsteps louder just so they heard me.

"Hi, can I join real quick?" I asked, peaking my head in.

"Yea, come sit." Calum said. I noticed an empty seat by him & I felt safe sitting there...by Ashton, not so much.

"Mikey fell asleep but I just wanted to talk to you guys real quick. I'm sorry if I caused any drama between you guys, I didn't mean to. To be honest, I even told Michael that me coming with could be a bad idea but he really wanted to show me this part of his life & to meet you guys. I do think you need to read those notes, he worked on them for weeks. I don't know what he wrote but I have an idea. Like Michael talked about you guys the entire two months. We'd be laughing over something & he'd tell me like oh this reminds me of a time Ashton said this, or a time that Luke did that. He really looks up to you guys, so so much. He's inspired by you guys, I mean you're part of the reason he wanted to do music, you know? If it makes you feel any better, I hated Mikey the first few times I met him. All he did was flirt with me & ask for sex, like I was appalled...but I bitched him out one day. I had no idea who he was, I mean I had heard of 5sos but not enough to recognize him but he explained why you guys sent him there & he was still a dick, saying there was no point why he was there. I just brought him an outside perspective & called him out. Then something changed with time & he became the sweetest guy. I'm biased, I don't know the old Michael, like original Michael, but I do know the current one extremely well & he's a great guy. If me being here is like affecting you guys, I can go. I'll hang out at his parents house or even fly home, like I want you guys to work this all out & I know he wants to show you who he is now. He was so so so excited to show you guys how he is now. He wanted to make his apologies & move on. I know Michael is so thankful you sent him away, I'm thankful you sent him too because he's kind of changed my life. I know he didn't do relationships & I haven't either so this is kind of new for both of us. All I can say is the douche Michael you hated would not have done for me what he's done these past two months, like he's a special guy. Just read those notes, I think it'll explain a lot."

"Thanks for sharing that." Calum smiled.

"Yea, no problem. I'm going to go sit out on the balcony though, I haven't seen sun in months, is that okay?"

"Of course." Luke replied before I awkwardly got off the couch & walked outside onto their balcony. They had a table & some chairs out there so I took the seat & took in the sun, kind of thinking about everything.

I sat for a long while, just enjoying the heat.

After an hour or so, I kind of started pacing & then I stood against the railing, looking out over the city, Michael's city. While I was standing there, I heard the door slide open behind me & out walked a sleepy Michael. I looked over my shoulder & smiled at him, him returning a soft smile. Michael walked over towards me & wrapped his arms around me, hugging me from behind & then nuzzling his head into my neck.

"Sorry I fell asleep." He mumbled.

"It's okay, you needed it. How are you?"

"To be honest? Confused."

"Wanna talk yet?"

"Just a little bit. I just don't understand why Ashton didn't even give me a chance to like show him how I changed & he's blaming it on you, I don't like that."

"I don't mind."

"No, but I do. That wasn't right of Ashton to call you out like that. It's perfectly fine that you came with & there's no mess to clean up because of you."

"It'll work out. Uhm when you fell asleep I went & talked to them real quick before coming out here."

"Really? What did you talk about?"

"Well, it more of me talking & them listening but I just said that they should read those notes & give you a shot. I told them that you helped me through a lot & you're a sweet guy. I also told them how I didn't like you at first, just letting them know that I saw some change in you too. They didn't say anything, Calum thanked for for talking but that was it. Then I've been out here. Is it okay that I did that?"

"Yea, that's fine. You're allowed to talk to them." Michael said with a laugh.

"Was that a smile?" I turned around so I was facing him, my back up against the edge of the railing & poked his cheek. "You smiled. You haven't all afternoon." 

"What can I say? I'm with you. You just make me so fucking happy. Regardless of what shit goes down, I'm glad you're here with me right now. I'm happy you came home with me for a bit."

"So am I. I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet."

"Me either. We may not be on the lake anymore but we'll still make it a good time here, yea?"

"I know, Michael, I know."

"Now gimme a kiss." He laughed, leaning down & getting that kiss. 

"You're cute." I giggled.

"I don't know how you do it Shay."

"Do what?"

"I can go from feeling like absolute shit, literally crying into my pillow & then I fall asleep holding you & I wake up, I come out here & with a kiss from you, I feel better. I don't know how you do it."

"Awh, Mikey. But you do the same for me, you have so many times before."

"I guess we just help each other, huh?" He asked, pulling me in for hug. I just dug my head into his chest & we stayed in that embrace for a bit, Michael kissing the top of my head a few times.

Then we heard the door slide. 

Here we go.

-

A/N so just letting you know, next chapter you'll kind of get to see where ashton is coming from with all of this.

i honestly can't thank anyone who reads this enough. like seriously i wrote this fic months ago with the intent of it just being a way for me to deal with my own issues & then now i have people like thanking me for writing it & telling me that they can't wait for updates & it's beautiful.

i love you guys :) keep being you because you're a great you.