“Fat!”
“Ugly!”
“Freak!”
“Loser!”
“Dipshit!”
“Poor slut!”
“I hate you…”
“Disgusting!”
“Disappointment!”
“Boring! Annoying!”
“Useless! Worthless!”
“Ew… germ and trash!”
“Stupid! Pathetic! Dumb!”
“Why are you still existing? Just leave!”
“The truth is, no one wants the real you.”
“M—Mommy! Da—ddy! There’s a monster in my mind again…” I cried while punching my head.
I am now shaking ‘caused of being scared and nervous. Sweat started forming at my forehead while the shitty noise continuously plays in my mind.
“Mommy! Daddy! Help! I need the both of you! Please… please hug me. I’m craving for the attention and love… mommy… daddy…”
I'm a lost girl inside my own mind. Always on the run from everyone—no, I have no one to run of from.
As the voice played in my mind, I crawled towards my drawer, when I sat at the chair then I saw my reflection at the mirror, I saw a messed up girl again.
I pointed my index finger at the direction of my reflection. “You don't have right to judge me, since you’re also a piece of shit!” I said in greeted teeth, “I am just a sinful human being like you.”
I got up and jogged my way to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. While walking back to my room, that shitty voice played in my mind over and over again.
“You know what? Tongues are the worst sinners that composes the human body for they curse others and unknowingly plants hates in their hearts. And then ‘twas so very easy for you to say that to me?” I said while playing with the knife using my own bare hands.
“Your words wounded me like how a knife does, now I'm going to use my knife to cut your mouth.” little did I know that I’m hurting myself too.
“Sweetie, time to go to school—oh my god! Tshaz, what’s going on? Oh god! It’s okay sweetie! Hon, help me!” she slowly came close to my place and shakily took the knife at my hand and I didn’t look away from the mirror.
“S-Sweetie, what’s the problem? Why is it that you didn’t open up? Why did you not shout and tell us all about this?”
I face her with a blank expression.
“What's the point of screaming? No one's listening anyway… and yeah, I realize that monster don't sleep under my bed, because they sleep inside my head,” I said even though she didn’t understand me because of what I’ve done at my own tongue.
—end—
