Twisted [Degenerate Series, Book 1][Blackfrost] ✔️

Chapter 30

I woke up Christmas morning with the thought of Tony's Christmas party looming over me. I didn't feel like doing anything today. I hadn't been doing anything for the past three months, and the idea of having to get up and actually leave the house to socialize sounded terrible to me.

I groaned and forced myself to get up. My toes curled up as soon as they touched the ground due to the cold floor. My house always got extremely cold, especially during the winter months. I looked out of the window on my left and saw that newly fallen snow had littered the ground. Icicles hung on the window on the outside, completely solid.

I walked over to the closet and looked for a dress for the party tonight. There was a simple black one that I decided I liked. I chose it and rested it on my bed for later.

I then crept into the kitchen, rubbing my bare arms. I had on only a white tank top and short blue shorts despite the weather outside.

Loki was already up. He was getting out pans and starting to cook. I almost laughed - he had probably never cooked in his life.

"Merry Christmas," I mumbled quietly while yawning. "Need some help?"

Loki nodded, "indeed." He placed a pan on the burner. I took his place and he moved out of the way as I began to crack eggs into the pan.

As I noticed the still shattered glass on the cabinet doors from when demon-Loki had attacked me with a gun, I felt a cold, small breath on my collarbone. Part of me wanted to turn around, but I felt my stomach twisting with panic as I tightly clutched the handle of the pan.

Last time Loki had been this close, it hadn't been him at all, but a demon taking control of his body, which had resulted in the previously mentioned shattered glass cabinets.

Loki's hands gripped the counter on wither side of my torso, trapping me between him and the counter.

My hands shaking, I turned off the burner and putting the pan down. "Loki," I warned when he used his nose to moved a strand of red hair away from my cheek.

I half expected his voice to not be his own when he spoke, like it had been last time. "What?" He asked, his voice soft.

Loki nuzzled his face close to mine, brushing his lips along the soft spots on my neck. My heart thundering, I spun to face him and pushed him away as hard as I could. Loki stumbled backward.

"Sorry," he said quickly, seeing that I was upset.

I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling awkward. I almost walked away, until I looked into his eyes. They were apologetic and embarrassed. Looking into his eyes, it was the first time I even though that Loki might have feelings for me, too. Did he?

Rubbing the goosebumps from my arms, I quickly decided that I wasn't angry with him - I was scared for him. What will I do if the creatures take over his body again? What will happen to him if he doesn't retrieve the pendant, Havbølger?

"Screw breakfast," I said softly. "I have to go to the store. I'll be back later."

Loki looked hurt, and I suddenly realised why. If I went somewhere, he almost always came.

"Natasha, I am sorry," Loki advocated for himself as if his 'bold move' was the reason I didn't want him along. In reality, I needed to get him, Bruce, and Clint a present for tonight.

"I know," I responded stiffly and smiled. "I'll be back soon. Remember the Christmas party is tonight."

Loki stared at his feet as I brushed past him to get to the door.

So much for being daring, I thought as Natasha walked outside, closing the door behind her. Every part of me wanted to curl up into a ball and hide from the embarrassment I was feeling.

I stared unhappily at the partially cooked eggs in the pan. Knowing I had no idea how to properly finish them, I dumped them into the trash and put the pan in the sink. 

I walked over to my room, every step shooting pain up my entire body. My back still ached terribly due to my time in Asgard. Once in my room, I opened my closet and began to search for something to wear to the party tonight. As I looked, I decided on a black dress shirt that I had worn before and black dress pants. I grabbed each article of clothing and threw them to the bed.

As I was searching in the closet for shoes, I froze. My hand had brushed over the armor I had been wearing for the battle in New York - the same armor I had worn when Odin sent me to Earth. 

I reached into one of the pockets where I usually kept a spare dagger and there! My hand tightened around the handle. I pulled the dagger out and couldn't resist a smile at the familiar weight in my hands.

As my hand gripped the handle tighter, though, I felt a sudden blinding pain in my lower abdomen from the blacked wound that sent me falling backward onto the ground. As I fell my eyes closed, and I caught glimpses of a vision, blinding inside of my head.

First, there was a creature, smiling at me with it's sharp teeth and white, emotionless eyes.

Then, I pictured myself at Stark Tower - the Christmas party. I could sense the presence of the pendant, Havbølger, close. The creatures in the vision forced me to retrieve it.

Finally, I saw myself at Stark Tower, standing over Natasha's bloodied body as I held the dagger. A drop of blood fell from the blade and cascaded onto the floor, making a loud dripping sound in the empty room.

My eyes flew open and I let the dagger tumble out of my hand in horror. 

The dagger wasn't covered in blood like it had been in the vision, but that did not make my breathing calm down.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting there, staring at the dagger only a few feet away with wide eyes and quick breaths.

I heard the front door open, but my eyes did not stray from the dagger. 

"Loki?" I heard Natasha call. I heard her footfalls as she approached my bedroom and opened my door. "Loki? What are you doing?"

I clenched my fists to stop my shaking hands. Had the vision been what was going to happen, or just a figment of my imagination? 

"Loki, are you alright?" Natasha asked before grabbing the knife. "Where did you get this? Strictly speaking, you're not allowed to have weapons. I know we're... friends now, but you're still under my supervision."

Finally regaining my voice, I said, "the pocket of my old armor."

"Oh. Are you okay? You look...paler than normal."

"I'm fine," I responded breathlessly, attempting to push to vision out of my mind. Natasha didn't give me the dagger back. Instead, she clutched it in her hand as she made her way into the kitchen. I followed, letting my shaking muscles calm down.

"Are you hiding any other weapons?" Natasha asked. She stared at me, awaiting a response. I then asked myself, did she seriously still not trust me? After all of this?

"I forgot it was there," I said honestly.

"Right," Natasha said, turning away. "Do you have any more? And please, try to remember."

"I don't," I insisted.

"Okay," Natasha responded. She then began head towards her room, still gripping the dagger. 

"Are you mad at me or something?" I asked before she could close the door. There was a second of hesitation before I watched the door closed. I was so quiet, I could hear the click of the lock. 

I started to formulate ideas about what she might be mad at me for. Was she angry about this morning? Or about me having a knife when I wasn't supposed to? Natasha didn't make an appearance until we had to leave for the party, so I never had a chance to ask her.