*27 years old*
after chaewon's mother passed away, she lived with her grandmother. this is our second visit here as a group. the first time we were here was for chaewon's funeral.
Chaewon from 10 years ago... I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I wanted to talk to you so much more. I could never find the courage to talk to you after you started dating hyewon sunbae. and I regret that.
what was it you wanted to tell me that day?
*17 years old*
We decided to spend the holidays together as a group. after a long day, we sit at an ice cream store. the delicious cooling treats everyone craves especially during hot sunny weather.
"I guess chaewon is on a date with hyewon sunbae right about now. wonder what they're doing?" yena wonder. "going on a date, obviously," yuri in a monotonous manner.
The three of us, yena, eunbi and I decided to buy matching shorts for the upcoming school festival. the shorts that we've picked are quite short in my opinion. but they're called shorts after all.
" yena, does your dad bake bread even when the store is closed?" eunbi asked. "well... not really though. he just prepares the dough for the next use."
"YURI~~," yena runs towards her so-called 'future-girlfriend' with open arms ready to hug the small yuri who was busy licking her ice cream. what a whipped culture.
"let me taste your ice cream~~," putting her chin on top of Yuri's head. "you have your own." "yea but mine already finish. plus I wanna try this cotton candy flavour."
without asking yuri's permission, she took a great bite on that cotton candy ice cream. it happens so fast I didn't even see it coming. but what I can confirm is that the flush on yuri's fluffy cheeks is visible.
if only yuri stops being a tsundere, they could've been a couple already. yena is a confident gay, unlike yuri. if they actually date, they can be the most cringe couple in school knowing how touchy yena actually is. she even kisses yuri's cheeks every morning even though they're not dating.......... yet.
today was fun hanging out with them but I kinda miss chaewon's presence. especially her clingy and playful side. without her presence, today feels almost incomplete to me.
Holidays have ended sooner than I have expected. currently walking my way towards school. I wondered what happened to that note.
"morning, minmin." I don't know if it's just me or what but chaewon sound more lifeless than usual. usually, she would go 'minmin~~' every morning but now its just 'minmin'. even so, I reply to her greeting back.
"Why didn't you wake me up this morning?" "sorry. I overslept a little. my alarm wasn't ringing this morning." what a lie. your alarm rings like usual.
you just made up an excuse because you're still sad about them dating and you wanted to avoid her as much as possible so that you wouldn't break down in front of her.
"no, it's fine." we are now heading towards our class. walking side by side. "you have a girlfriend now. I don't think she would like me calling you. I'm sorry, I didn't make your lunch today. I don't want hyewon sunbae to get jealous."
"I understand. it must've been tough making them for two people every day. I really appreciated them."
"chae... I have something to tell you..." "what is it?" she furrowed her eyebrow. just tell her. tell her how you really feel. it's better to tell her now than regret it later. "I-."
I got cut off by chaewon's girlfriend who is screaming "CHAEWON" and hug chaewon's arm tightly. "morning," chaewon said to her almost not smiling at all.
"what is it minmin?" her eyes are still stuck on me not leaving it for a second. "ah, nothing. just forgets it." one chance has already flown away once again.
"what were you guys talking about earlier?" her girlfriend asks her. "hmm... nothing much." their hands slowly intertwined with each other. I'm the who saw everything, got reminded that I don't have a chance with chaewon once again.
it's lunchtime right now and like always I brought my lunch box with me. "YURI! wanna buy some buns?" yujin who is already leaning on the doorway asked. "sure. chae, do you want-."
"CHAEWON!" yuri was cut off by hyewon sunbae who is waving at chaewon being all smiley. that smile of hers irritates me on a devil scale.
mummers can be heard from the students who start to gossip and even question about their relationship status.
'isn't that hyewon sunbae?'
'are they dating?'
'ugh, what a shock.'
'she had a great look.'
"Sorry, yuri," chaewon said just before heading towards her girlfriend to spend their lunch together. yuri, yena and eunbi glare at hyewon in annoyed while yujin gave me a worried look.
she knew I like chaewon in the first place. I just gave her a weak smile saying 'I'm okay' even though it's obvious I'm not.
May 1st
After Chaewon starts going out with hyewon sunbae, I stop talking to her.
"where's chaewon?" yena questioned yuri. "sunbae took her somewhere." "again?" "Yup. she grabs her every free period," eunbi replied. I poke my food not having any appetite to eat it anymore.
"Honestly, I don't like hyewon sunbae," eunbi said with hatred in her eyes. "me too." "I wonder if chaewon is on her side or ours." "why did chaewon agree to go out with her? what an idiot."
"We should've stopped her. it's our fault." "you were happy about her going out with sunbae before," yuri said not leaving her eyes off her manga. "I know, but still."
why didn't I just tell her 'no' face to face? even though I know the future, I'm the one who has to make the decisions. I sigh as I close my lunchbox even though it's still full inside.
"you're not eating?" yena asked worriedly. "do you feel sick? are you okay?" "yeah, I'm fine. I'm just not hungry at the moment right now."
"yujin, yena and minju, let's buy drinks. you too, yuri. you're coming too," eunbi drag all of us downstairs to the vending machine.
as we sit at the provided bench, eunbi call me in a sad tone. "minju... are you hiding anything from us?" "no. why? what's going on?"
little did they know, chaewon was staring at them the whole time listening to their conversation right from the start. her eyes are stick to minju the whole time.
after chaewon starts going out with hyewon sunbae, I stop talking to her. this is the first day. during lunch, she calls out to me, but I avoided her when I see sunbae. after this, I will avoid her a number of times.
when chaewon talks to you, please answer her and don't just wait around. I want you to start talking to her too.
me? start talking to her? impossible.
YOU ARE READING
Suicide Attempts
Fanfiction"We're sorry for taking you for granted." "We're sorry we couldn't save you." "We wish we had kept a closer eye on you."
