but do we dare split apart? // ig // gawsten/pawsten

fifty-two ⭐ dear future us

Dear Future Us,

Today I've decided that I will no longer keep my mouth shut about the situation between Patty and I. Geoff already knows the basics, but he doesn't know everything. I'm not going to tell him explicitly (because I'm a huge chicken but,) I will tell him and everyone through our songs. I have one in particular which I'm growing more fond of every day and feel it conveys the message in a wonderful manner. It expresses how angry I am with myself, but also how mad I was at him for being a total asshole to me at the end of our relationship. Nothing sexual crosses my mind over him anymore. It's all strictly platonic or hate, either of which is very strong. He and Judi keep lying to everyone, saying that they aren't a couple. Well maybe he should change his Instagram password after he hurts his best friend. Patty and Ben's conversation exposes everything I wanted to know. What a stupid piece of shit. Quite a shame, considering I was legitimately missing him those four months he was gone. Now he just makes me mad even just by looking at her.

Anyway, on a much much lighter note, I think our foster daughter Sydney is a great child to have in our family. She's only eleven years younger than me, but it really doesn't seem like that. Geoff and I both feel as if she is our child, so that's why we are going to adopt her for her birthday next year. She informed us of how her parents have already lost custody of her and how she's constantly going from family to family because she's an older child. Sydney is our daughter now, and she won't be going through any of that anymore.

Our daughter has also been begging us for a sibling, and we're considering that too. We've already planned who's giving their sperm and when. By May, we should have a pregnant surrogate :)

I hope this enough for my monthly update. I love you two very much, and I wish you well in marriage.

- Awsten