blossom ↣ joshler ✓

40. Feeling

"And the crowd was going fucking nuts, Hayley you shoulda been there," Brendon continued his dramatic retelling of the baseball game.

Josh laughed and took a bite of his ice cream. "They were not."

"They were," Tyler agreed from where he sat next to Josh, his head resting on his shoulder. "I don't have much knowledge on the sport but you did an excellent job and I'm very proud of you."

Josh smiled and kissed Tyler's forehead. "Thanks, baby."

"You guys are cute," Hayley pouted, taking a bite of her own bowl of strawberry ice cream. "Might be even cuter than Brendon and Dallon."

Brendon gasped while Dallon laughed. "Are not. Dallon and I are the cutest."

"You guys are just horny," Hayley rolled her eyes.

"So is Joshua," Tyler mumbled out. However everyone heard him and started laughing as Josh's face turned pink.

"I don't like that you're learning new terms. I take it back. I'm just giving you more ammo to make fun of me with," Josh shook his head.

Tyler laughed and scooted closer to him. "You love it."

Josh smiled. "I do."

"Are you sure you don't want any ice cream, Tyler?" Dallon asked. "I can buy it for you if you need me to."

"Back off my boy it's my job to buy him things, Weekes."

Tyler pat Josh's arm. "I'm alright. Thank you, Dallon."

"I still can't believe you won that game for us, J," Brendon breathed out in disbelief.

"I scored a run and I get no love," Dallon shook his head with a scoff.

"You'll get love later when I spend the night," Brendon smirked, stirring his ice cream slightly.

"Ew," Hayley scrunched her nose up. "That's why Tyler and Josh are cuter. Brendon causes negative points for you guys."

Dallon shrugged. "That's okay," he sling an arm over Brendon's shoulder and pulled him in. "He has infinite points in my book."

Brendon let out a happy sigh. "I love you, Dally."

Dallon kissed his forehead. "I love you too."

Josh cleared his throat and nudged Tyler off of him. "It's nearing 7:30 I should get him home."

He slid out of the booth and grabbed his bowl before throwing it away. Tyler slid out as well and the two said their goodbyes, joining hands and walking out to Josh's car.

They got in and as soon as the door closed Tyler began talking. "Brendon consumed such a large amount of ice cream I don't understand how he can handle all of that. It's ridiculous. There is so much sugar in ice cream. Do you know how much sugar is in ice cream, Joshua? If he would have purchased the sugar free kind then maybe he—"

"I love you."

Tyler instantly stopped talking. Turning to Josh. "You what?"

"I love you," Josh repeated, looking straight ahead and not meeting Tyler's eyes.

That is, not until he started crying.

"Ty?" Josh asked softly, looking at him with worried eyes.

"I just," Tyler let out a huff. "I'm sorry. I don't know if I love you back. I think I do because you make me so happy but my own mother doesn't love me so I don't really know what love feels like for sure. I'm sorry," he sobbed out.

Josh didn't take offense to that. He had an idea Tyler loved him back. If he didn't then he probably wouldn't be reacting the way he was.

"Hey, it's okay," Josh held his hand tightly as Tyler started shaking. "Tyler, hey," he tried speaking but Tyler was still sobbing. "Oh my God I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be," Tyler shook his head. "I just feel terrible because I don't know if I can say it back. You give me this specific feeling but I don't know what that feeling is called and I apologize."

"Tyler it's okay," Josh assured. "If you're not ready to say it back that's alright. I promise. I know you care about me and you love having me in your life. You obviously don't hate me," he laughed out, wiping Tyler's cheek as his eyes filled with his own tears.

"Why are you crying?" Tyler's bottom lip wobbled. "Is it because I didn't say it back?"

Josh gave him a sad smile. "No it's because I didn't mean to make you cry and it breaks my heart that you don't know what love feels like," he paused. "But I'm gonna make you feel all the love you deserve, okay? I'm gonna love you so fucking much you're gonna hate me."

Tyler laughed and wiped the tear that fell down Josh's cheek. "Okay."

"Am I allowed to say it to you? You don't have to feel pressured to say it back but I want you to know I really do love you."

Tyler nodded hesitantly. "If you want to. I don't want you to feel bad if I don't say it back though."

"I won't," Josh assured. "You can just smile or give me a kiss. I know you feel something towards me. It's okay."

"Thank you," Tyler spoke sincerely.

"Of course," Josh smiled before grabbing his phone and checking the time. "We should get going."

He started the car and left the parking lot before grabbing Tyler's hand. The younger let out a content sigh as he rested his head on the window. Josh glanced at him and his heart swelled. It was insane how in love he was with Tyler.

He pulled into his boyfriend's driveway and parked. Tyler looked at him. "I don't want to leave."

"I know you don't but you gotta," Josh said sadly. "I'll text you though. Okay?"

"Okay."

Tyler opened the door and got out but after he shut it, Josh rolled down the passenger side window. "Hey."

"Yeah?" Tyler looked back at him.

"I love you," he said sincerely.

Tyler smiled and leaned in, meeting Josh halfway as they kissed. He pulled back and bit his lip nervously. "Go home. Take a shower. Get to bed. I care about you."

"I know you do," Josh smiled back. "Thanks for coming to support me tonight. It means a lot."

Tyler blushed. "Thanks for not being embarrassed of me and asking me to come."

"I could never be embarrassed of you, beautiful."

Tyler grinned. "Goodnight, Joshua."

"Goodnight, Ty."