A Touch of Cinnamon ✓

n i n e t e e n | kim and james

This week has been so weird, I can hardly remember what day it is.

On another note, I just painted my nails.

And slept for like eleven hours.

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HS

It's late in the afternoon by the time Liam and Harry make their way over to Niall's flat to pack up his things, as well as Tabitha and Papaya, to move it all over to Harry's.

The two boys try to avoid thinking about all the things Niall said about his past as they step over the threshold, but it's nearly impossible.

"How much of that did you already know?" Liam asks, his voice hushed as they close the door, the two kittens immediately weaving through Harry's legs as they recognize him.

"Not much. I knew of Damon, and I knew he'd been hurt, but I didn't know just how badly. I knew he was scared of something, and I knew he was in danger, but none of the specifics," Harry answers, his voice just as quiet as he pets the innocent cats.

"What I'm about to say may piss you off, I mean it probably will, but I have to know. Is this too much for you? Can you really handle being with him after knowing everything?"

Harry freezes, standing up straight and feeling the stiffness in his knees from being bent over.

"Why wouldn't I be able to?"

"I mean, think about it Haz, you haven't been in a relationship in about five years, and all of a sudden you're dating an ex-prostitute you've only known for a month, whose psycho pimp is after him. I just want to make sure you're not getting yourself in too deep," Liam's voice is calm, the exact opposite of what Harry is feeling.

"How could you say that? I love him, Liam, I'm not just going to abandon him because he has a past that is difficult and painful," Harry is trying hard, so hard, to not sound bitter and angry and pissed off, but he is. Hearing his best mate saying stuff like that? It's not something he's okay with. He's also trying not to cry, because he does that sometimes when he gets really upset - and the last thing he wants right now is to cry in front of Liam and seem weak.

"I'm not saying you don't, Harry, I just think this might be all a little too much," Liam placates, his hands outstretched slightly as if to calm him down.

"It's a lot, I admit, but he's worth far more than that. He is worth too much for me to just let go like that. I've been wanting him for years and I finally have him, the real him. Scars, trauma, baggage and all. I love him, Liam, why don't you understand that? I honestly think he's it for me."

"It's only been a month, Haz. You've known him for a month. How can you know he's it for you?"

"Because I can feel it. I feel it when I wake up with him in my arms. I feel it when he kisses me and when he laughs at something funny. I feel it when he looks at me. And I feel it so intensely when I think of being without him for even another day in my life. I don't need to be with him for years, or even months, to know that I love him and that he's it for me, because I can feel it. The thought of being without him hurts more than any pain I've ever felt before and I know that I need him. I can feel it, Li. That's how I know."

By the time Harry is finished, his chest is heaving and his heart is racing and his eyes are watering, the fight to try not to cry getting harder and harder each moment. He hadn't meant to get so worked up about it, but the thought of not being with Niall for the rest of his life is not something he can fathom. He needs Niall, he already knows that.