A Touch of Cinnamon ✓

t w e n t y - s e v e n | miscarriages and grieving

 ̶«̶ ̶̶̶ ̶ ̶ ̶̶̶ ̶«̶ ̶̶̶ ̶　　 ̶»̶ ̶̶̶ ̶ ̶ ̶̶̶ ̶»̶ ̶̶̶ ̶ ̶ 

HS

The steady, solid beeping fills the otherwise silent air, the smell of antiseptic and lemon cleaner overwhelmingly strong, and the rough, uncomfortable nature of the chairs creates discomfort in Niall's shoulders.

The lights are dimmed, as if to give the room a soft, comforting glow. Ironic, really, seeing as there is nothing comforting about this.

"They had to induce labour," She said.

"They couldn't find his heartbeat," She said.

"He didn't cry," She said.

"I got to hold him," She said.

"He was so tiny," She said.

"Where is Louisa?" Harry asked.

"With Lilly," She answered.

Now, as she sleeps, Harry's heart lay broken in his chest. The little boy, who was to be named after him, no longer would have a life to live. He no longer would have laughter to fill his lungs, and he no longer would know of the love Harry held for him.

He would no longer get to live his life with the most amazing mother around. He would no longer get to fight with Louisa over trivial things, and Louisa no longer gets to have the joy of being an older sister.

He would no longer live the life that had been laid out for him.

Niall holds Harry as Harry holds Charlotte, who is holding the little stuffed lamb she'd been gifted by Anne to give to her little boy.

Her little boy, who would no longer get to hold the little stuffed lamb as his mother would hold him, just as Anne held Harry.

"I feel like I've lost my own child," Harry whispers, his arms wrapped around Charlotte's shoulders as she sleeps in his chest, unshed tears shining in his emerald eyes.

"My heart has never been so broken," His voice is soft, so he doesn't wake Charlotte, who has finally fallen asleep after hours of endless tears and heart wrenching sobs.

"I never even got to meet him," The tears finally fall, and Niall can do nothing but squeeze Harry tighter, fighting his own urge to cry - the amount of pain and sadness in the room becoming too much for his heart to bear.

Seeing Charlotte break, and now watching Harry begin to break, is starting to break him, too.

"Rest, pet," Niall kisses the side of Harry's head, who nods and burrows his face into Charlotte's hair, allowing sleep to take him.

He can only hope that things will be better when he wakes up.

~~~

Harry is awoken to the sounds of someone moving about, and an emptiness beside him that was not there when he fell asleep.

He opens his eyes and finds Charlotte moving about the room in a much quicker manner than she should be.

"Char, what are you doing?" He asks softly, rubbing at his eyes to get the sleep out of them.