flatline [m.s]

x.

- - -
nobody likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. it's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task.
- - -

"dr. webber," owen greets, as he, jackson, alex and derek enter the hospital room richard has been admitted to. richard is sat up in the hospital bed and lia sat in the visitor chair. "you ready to go?"

"i've been ready to go since i found out about this damn tumour," richard retorts.

derek chuckles as lia frowns, standing up from the chair and walking over to take her dad's hand. karev begins taking the breaks off of the bed so that they can wheel richard to the o.r.

as the four doctors push richard through the corridors, lia never lets go of his hand, even when they stop moving.

"lia.." derek says, as softly as possible. "this is as far as you can go."

"you're kidding right? i'm a doctor at this hospital," she shakes her head in disbelief.

"not today, you're not," hunt reminds her. "today you're family. family are not allowed past this point."

"i'll be fine, alivia," richard tries to console his daughter, as he places a kiss on his daughter's hand before letting it go.

"dr. shepherd, chief hunt?" jackson asks, causing the two surgeons to look at him. "if it's alright with you; i'd like to wait with lia. keep her company, if you don't need me to scrub in."

"of course," hunt nods, before continuing their journey to the o.r, leaving lia left crying into jackson's chest as he wraps his arms around her.

"y-you didn't have to," lia sniffs, pulling away from jackson. "you could've scrubbed in, and got some more o.r experience."

"there will be other surgeries. right now you need someone," jackson smiles.

"thanks," lia says, returning the smile.

"c'mon, lets go and get a coffee and something to eat."

■ ■ ■

"have you chosen a specialty yet?" lia asks jackson, taking a sip of her coffee as she sits cross legged on a waiting room chair, in an attempt to distract herself.

"believe it or not, i'm actually really into cardio," he tells her with a nervous chuckle.

"and that doesn't have anything to do with you trying to cheer me up?" she giggles.

"no i'm serious," jackson laughs. "i was the cristina yang of mercy west. well not quite, but you get the picture."

"i always pegged you as a plastics kind of guy," lia smiles, once she's stopped laughing."

"really? why?"

"you've got the face for plastics," lia tells him. "plastic surgeons always have pretty faces."

"you think i've got a pretty face?" he smirks, and she nods with a smile. "i couldn't work under sloan anyway."

"sloan?" she raises her eyebrow, remembering he didn't know what was going on. he'd tried calling her last night, but she had been so distracted. "what's wrong with working under sloan?"

"he's an ass. he makes his residents run errands for him, rather than teaching them. ask karev," he informs her, whilst shifting so that their faces are inches apart. "besides, i'd much rather work under you."

"i've been looking for you everywhere. what the hell is going on?" mark interrupts, causing lia and jackson's heads to both snap up and look at him, opposed to each other.

"i- my, um, dad he, um, has a tumour on his optical nerve," lia stutters. "he's having surgery now."

"that's today?" mark raises his brow.

"that's today?" lia repeats, angrily. "you knew? you knew. why didn't you tell me that my dad has a tumour?"

"look, i can explain-" he begins to protest, but lia cuts him off.

"don't bother," she spits, standing up before turning to jackson. "you were right; he is an ass."

she then walks away leaving both men in the waiting area. mark stands still, in shock momentarily, then heading in the same direction as lia to find her.

when mark finds lia storming through the lobby, he runs to catch up with her, and grabs her arm, pulling her into a supply closet.

"are you going to let me talk? or are you just going to storm off like a child again?" mark snaps at her. she doesn't respond which he takes as a cue to talk. "i was there when derek found the tumour. i wanted to tell you, but richard didn't want you to know. why else do you think he didn't get admitted until the day of his surgery?"

"you're supposed to be my boyfriend!"

"i am your boyfriend. but i am also a doctor," he argues. "if you were anybody else i wouldn't be able to break patient confidentiality. i can't just do it for you. and as a doctor, i thought you'd be able to understand that."

lia knew he was right, just like she knew derek was right not to tell her. it wasn't their place to tell her, it was her dad's. when you're a doctor, you have to push your personal relationships aside.

"i know," lia sighs, picking her fingernails to avoid making eye contact with mark. "i'm sorry. i'm just scared of losing my dad."

"i know, baby," he says, pulling her towards him, and hugging her tightly. after holding her for a few minutes he pushes her away. he holds her at arms length with both hands on her shoulders, giving her a quizzical look. "did avery really call me an ass?"

"shut up," she giggles, standing on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him.

■ ■ ■

"hey," derek whispers, gently shaking lia awake whilst she's curled up on a chair in the waiting area.

"you've finished?" she asks, rubbing her eyes.

"yeah, do you want to go and see him?"

- - -
still there are times when it just gets away from you, when the world stops spinning, when you realize your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you.
- - -

when lia enters richard's room, he isn't awake. he has an intubation tube in him mouth, and his head is covered in bandages.

"was the surgery a success?" she hopefully asks derek, taking a seat next to her father's bed and grabbing his hand again.

"as far as i'm aware, yes," derek answers, then pauses. "but we won't know for sure until he wakes up."

- - -
no matter how hard you fight it, you fall. it's scary as hell. except there's an upside to the free fall. it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.
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