flatline [m.s]

lxviii.

- - -
we are all looking for answers. in medicine, in life, in everything. sometimes the answers we were looking for were hiding just below the surface.
- - -

"i missed you this morning. is everything okay?" lia asks jackson when she catches him in the lobby.

"yeah. i just wanted to get a run in before work," he dismisses her.

"okay. well, uh, i gotta get upstairs if i'm going to talk to my dad before his first surgery, so i'll see you later?" she asks hopefully, as they stop outside the elevators and she presses the up button.

it had been over a week since lia had found out ellis was her mother and by now everyone knew. but she had hardly spoken to her father.

"yeah. alright. i'll see you later," jackson smirks slightly as the elevator doors open.

"going up?" mark smiles from the elevator.

"nope," she says, turning to leave.

"yeah, you are," jackson frowns and lia sighs before stepping in the elevator.

■ ■ ■

"alivia," richard greets, in surprise when she enters his office.

"i wanted to, uh, apologise... to- to you," lia mumbles.

"alivia, you don't need to apologise," richard shakes his head.

"no, i do. i was hurt that i'd not been told sooner, but i shouldn't have avoided you," she explains. "because... you're still my dad, and mom is still my mom. you've both still been so good to me over the years, and biology can't change that. the only real change is that i've gained a sister. it just took some time for me to realise that."

"i'm sorry i kept it from you," richard says. "i truly am sorry, alivia."

"let's just... move on," lia suggests and richard nods before she exits his office.

■ ■ ■

"i need you, lia," mark announces as he enters the research lab that lia is in, looking through books and files.

"hi. uh- uh, what?" she nervously laughs, jumping at the sound of his voice, and scratching the back of her head.

"i need you," mark repeats. "i'm doing a skin graft, and i'm stuck with an intern who thinks that debriding the necrotic tissue is the title of a nine inch nails album."

"are you sure it's not?" lia teases.

"it might be. i'm not familiar with their later work," mark admits.

"you're just sad because derek is making the residents rotate so you don't have jackson," she points out.

"he and i work well together. we understand each other. like you and i used to, you know?" mark explains to her. "so i need you."

"i can't," she shakes her head. "uh, i- i- i have karev on my service today, so..."

"alright. thought it would be fun, working together again. but if you're busy..." he nods, turning to leave.

"mark, wait," she calls, and mark turns back around. "you should check out the latest nine inch nails album. it is pretty... fresh."

"okay," he furrows his brow, before leaving the research lab.

"i said fresh," lia mentally slaps herself once mark is completely out of earshot.

■ ■ ■

"hey, how is it having karev on your service?" jackson asks lia, as he places his lunch tray on her table in the cafeteria.

"he's playing it safe to pad himself with good outcomes," lia rolls her eyes. "i need yang back, or mer."

"then you could make a sister service," jackson chuckles.

"it's still so weird to think that we're actual sisters," lia shakes her head. "i've only ever been derek's sister... and that's not the same as this. i think i like it though; having a sister."

"i'm happy for you," he smiles, as mark approaches the table.

"avery! i've got an exciting surgery coming up for the plastics posse, so get pumped," mark grins.

"i- i, uh, i've got to go and check on a patient," lia announces, standing up from the table with her tray. "i'll catch you later, jackson."

she walks away, and jackson frowns in her direction as she does so, and while mark takes her seat.

- - -
other times, we find answers when we didn't realize we were asking a question. sometimes, the answers can catch us completely by surprise.
- - -

"hey. you paged?" lia questions as she enters the residents locker room, where jackson is sat at one of the tables. "i, uh, i can't get outta here yet. i gotta follow up with my patient. you okay?"

"yeah, i just... i missed a surgery last week that- that's not true. i avoided a surgery last week. one i wanted to do for weeks, because of this thing with you and mark," jackson reveals to her.

"there is nothing between me and mark," lia insists.

"yeah, i've been trying really, really hard to believe that. i've made every excuse for you. i thought you were just working through that stuff about your mom, and that it would go away," he shrugs. "but there is a thing. and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. and this thing with me and plastics? that's not going away either. something's gotta budge. so i have to walk away... from you... for me."

"so... you're picking mark?" she raises her brow with confusion.

"i've spent way too much time sabotaging my own career, lia," he shakes his head. "yeah... i'm picking mark. can you... can you tell me i shouldn't?"

but she can't, she just remains silent.

- - -
and sometimes, even when we find the answer we've been looking for, we're still left with a whole hell of a lot of questions.
- - -