16:58

Chapter Twenty-Five

Colton pulls into the parking lot. We haven't said much. I don't know if I'm more relieved or pissed off that Colton was with a random girl. I'm so sick of feeling. I just want to go home and sleep. I don't want to keep being jerked around.

Colton parks. Right as we get out of the car, he says, "Are we going to talk about it?"

I sigh as I shut my door. "Talk about what, Colton?" I ask as I look at him.

"I don't know," he says. "This."

I sigh again as I try to figure out what kind of mind game he's playing. "I don't know what you want me to say," I tell him finally. "I'm so fucking exhausted."

"Then how about I go first?" Colton says. My heart starts beating too fast. "I really shouldn't say any of what I'm about to say. But I stopped giving a fuck for some reason."

"Okay," I say. My voice comes out more uncertain than I would have liked. I feel butterflies in my stomach.

Colton walks over to my side of the car. "You can't marry Bryce," Colton says. I start to open my mouth to say something. But Colton says, "This isn't an ego thing. It's not a pride thing. I saw you at the restaurant with him. You looked grey. You looked unhappy. You looked  like you could see the next fifty years of your life and you weren't content with it, but willing to settle."

I shake my head. "You act like you know me, but you don't. It's been a week."

"I know you," Colton says. "I know you're too brilliant to settle. And you're already settling for Bryce. He's fucking draining you."

I feel tears in my eyes because I know Colton's right. "What am I supposed to do?" I ask, my voice is thick. "Leave him? Oh, I know. Be with you?"

"I didn't say that," Colton says. "But you know I'm right. You know he's draining you."

"He fucking loves me."

Colton laughs. "I never thought you needed him. I always thought you'd flourish by yourself."

"Well, I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry that I keep letting everyone fucking down," I say. I feel the tears fall as I say, "I'm sorry my best isn't fucking good enough."

"Why are you crying?" Colton asks softly. I wipe my eyes quickly and look at him.

"Because I'm exhausted." I sigh. "And everything is falling apart."

Colton shakes his head again. "Fuck," he mutters. "I really shouldn't say this."

I stare at him. "Please," I say softly. "Don't make this more complicated."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I really am."

"Just say it."

He steps closer to me. Close enough for me to smell his peppermint gum. I can feel the warmth radiating off of him even though the snow is falling and melting. And I'm staring up at him and his eyes are so vibrant against the grey sky.

"I hated seeing you with Bryce," he says, his voice is low and intense. "And when I was kissing that girl," he says, moving his mouth to my ear to whisper, "all I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss you."

I keep replaying what Colton's saying. It takes me forever to process what he just said. "I'm leaving tomorrow," I say slowly after what feels like forever. My eye's dart to his. "You don't want to start something with me."

It's almost like I'm begging him not to because I know what's going to happen if he kisses me. I know how ridiculously complicated it will make everything. I need him to stop anything before it happens because I won't be able to.