Chapter 18 - Welcome Back

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Okay so this book hasn't even existed for a month yet and it's at 1.2k reads and I'm fucking shook lmao

Now, this chapter was rushed (so I'm sorry if it's shit lol) but it has super mature themes so if you are sensitive to that stuff, please tread carefully. I love you ❤
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Qantas Flight 658 to New York is now boarding

I don't think I've been any more excited to leave the country. I can't stand being here anymore, not with a potential bounty over my head. I held Mike's hand firmly as we boarded our plane back to America, one more flight after this and we'll be home. Dani texted me this morning to come straight to hers after we land tomorrow, I hope everything has been okay. Kate has been in and out of the hospital after her accident, her heart has been unusually weak but luckily, she's alive and she's walking, talking and eating just fine. They suspect she might need a pacemaker or an internal defibrillation device but more tests have to be done. Dani reminds me all the time that Mike and I saved her life but I'm just so glad that my best friends are okay.

"Remember to take your pills. I know you didn't sleep at all last night." Mike rubbed my back as we sat down in our seats.

"Yeah, I... I uh... Don't know why." I sighed, pulling the bottle of valium out of my bag. I knew exactly why. I was too anxious to even look away from the door last night. I stared at it for the full 8 hours. 

"Here's some water, love." He smiled, handing me a cold bottle of water. I took the bottle and gave him a kiss in return. I took a few pills and swallowed them down with another sigh. Within 20 minutes after takeoff, I feel myself getting lethargic from the pills. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. I had the familiar false awakening, the plane was as I left it, Mike, on the window seat to my right but there she was, sitting on my left.

"I had no idea my own son still thought I didn't love him." She said, clearly upset.

"I had no idea he even had those thoughts at all. Especially when we were growing up." I scoffed in disbelief.

"You were always the one who thought like that. The number of times you thought I loved Tony more than I loved you, it was a constant anxious thought of yours." 

"Anthony is unstable, Mama. If I had stayed in Canberra, he could've hurt me. He tried to touch me, what kind of sick-"

"Felicia, please, this is still your brother we are talking about."

"Yes, my older brother who has an incestuous crush on me because of his over jealous tendencies. Mama, he is sick and he needs to get help. As much as I hate him, I don't want to see him end up in a mental hospital. I've been in one of those. I've seen what happens in there." I shook my head before putting my hand on my mother's phantom knee.

"I don't know what to say. I thought my blood was pure but it turns out it's poisoning both of you."

"Don't fucking do this shit again. Stop blaming yourself for my problems."

"Why would I not blame myself for your struggles? You wouldn't be taking this shit if it wasn't for me."

"I started taking benzos as a sleeping aid."

"After my death, yes I know. You couldn't sleep for weeks."

"Don't put the blame on yourself because you passed away. I was the one who wanted to keep taking them. I can't give them up." 

"Why do this to yourself, bubba? You have such a good life, you have a good guy, a great job."

"I like them. I want them."

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