FACADE

Chapter 11: Memories

                    

 "I left at a pretty young age, so I don't think I know much about that" 

 "Is that true? Because the last time I checked, you lie a lot".

 My heart squeezed, and I felt a stab at my heart when I heard that statement. She doesn't even trust me. How stupid am I to think that she likes me.

 I avoided her question and kept walking, and she followed suit. It seems like she isn't going to give up till she gets it out of me.

 "You sure it isn't something you know?" I stopped and stared at her.

 "No. I think I have to go. Am not feeling too well" I excused myself and turned to walk away in another direction.

 The truth is, it took every Fiber in me to stop myself from telling her that I might have something to do with it. But I was scared, scared that it might not be because of me. I wouldn't want to place my hopes up just to watch it crash right before my eyes.

 I loved her, still love her and will always love her. But that itself is another secret that I have to keep deep within me. Because what if she doesn't like me back? How would I handle the rejection?

 She is right, I am such a big liar and a loser. Right?? But it is all because of her. I have been excellent in every other aspects, except loving her. It was the only thing I didn't have control over and maybe my past too...

.....

 Who am I? So many people think am the real definition of perfect. Not that am a narcissist but am aware of my charms. I have won awards consistently over the years, even academically. I have never been caught in any name tarnishing scandal. My manager had always told me that I was the best artist a manager could wish for. But is that the real me?

 No. The real me is a lovesick coward who would just watch from the sidelines and protect the person he loves from afar.

 My dad and mom didn't get married out of love but because of their families selfish reasons. They both had partners before they got tied in an arranged marriage and since then things had changed for the worst.

 According to my nanny, my mom had always had a crush on my dad, but he didn't like her at all, so she got herself a boyfriend to get over him. When she found out that they had to live together, my mom was so happy. Talk about blindly in love. She was unaware of the fact that my dad was still meeting his ex, till she birthed me.

 Then they started getting into arguments, and it was mainly about her. My dad would always side with his side chick and my mom would resolve to drugs just to feel better since she was an orphan and the only child, so she had no one to turn to. She would always tuck me in bed every night regardless, reading me bedtime stories. Unknown to me, her mental health had been slowly depreciating, and she was suffering from anxiety and depression.

 I used to think everything was going to be alright, till I heard she overdosed and had to be rushed to a psychiatric hospital because she was acting psycho. Even when that happened, my dad didn't look back, we relocated on the same day my mom was admitted, and he moved in with his true love and his beloved son Andrew.

 I wouldn't wish upon anyone what I experienced in the hands of my stepmom. It was like a version of Cinderella just that this Cinderella's dad is still alive to witness his son being maltreated.

 Of course as expected of an evil stepmom, she is two faced. Always putting on acts whenever my dad was around. The young me was naive and inexperienced and would always throw tantrums. I have run away from home several times but still ended up back there.

 I had given up till I met my manager. He saw me in a school performance I cast in then, offered me a contract that my stepmom was quick to agree to because she thought my dad would hate me forever if I ventured in the acting business. Since then, I had been more determined to be heard, to be seen and to not be treated as trash.

        I would stay up late just to practice scripts and the first film I starred in with a minor role came out a success. I thought people saw my potential then because ever since then, I had been getting endorsement deals and more movie roles but what I failed to realize back then was that it was my paternal grandfather that gave me that push.

         When I found out, I started feeling a sense of closeness towards him and since then, he had been the father and mother that I never had. I was able to move back thanks to his help but on the condition that I help him manage his winery. It was fine by me, since all I wanted was to see Catherine, but it is such a pity that she doesn't even know who I am anymore.

 When I first saw her at the pool, I had always thought about her even without knowing she was Cather. It is such a pity that she doesn't remember the good old days, the times we spent together.

...

 Tucking my keys in my pocket, I walked inside the school and towards my locker. The hallway was crowded as usual, and I was used to crowding and the gossips that came after it.

      I had made a rough decision this morning to show Cather the toys she used to play with when she was young. Hopefully, it might trigger something in her and make her regain her memories... Right?

      Who am I kidding? The real reason I wanted to show her those toys was for her to come to my house. Only God knows how much I missed her voice, her face and her touch.

   Even though she has grown to be witty, and detached maybe because of what she passed through when I was away. But the old Cather was so outspoken, sharp tonged and loud. Regardless I like both versions of her, I thought as I headed for the classroom.