Way too far (TomTord)

12. Caught red-handed

Hello! I wanna warn you. This chapter does contain self-harm so please, if you're not comfortable with it... Well, I'll let you know when it starts and when it's over, okay? Btw, I am finally able to draw digitally again!  :,D

Tord's POV:

When anxiety strikes you hard, you know it never does any good.

"I'm listening." I heard Tom's voice from the other side. I felt my heart beating out of my chest, I was sweating constantly and I felt nauseous. I took another shaky breath. My lips trembled, my eyes watered, my ears were ringing and yet, the world was silent.

"Remember when I told you about the bullying I recieved in school?" I could not believe myself. Was I really going to do this? "Of course. How could I forget..?" I covered my face, as if he was right before me, staring at how pathetic I looked.

"I'm different, Tom. And yes, you were right. It's something much more than just my behaviour." He stayed silent. 'He already left you and you still didn't even get to the worst part.' My thoughts just had to let me know. Because why not bring my confidence even lower, right?

I gripped my chest, eyes wide open as I stared at the wall. "...Well?" I heard. I shook my head. "You know what? Forget I said anything." I smiled nervously. "What? No! Tord, come on!" I smiled sadly, sobbing lightly. "Tom..." "Tord..." "Tom, I......" I gave a short pause, the last moment of hesitation. "I...I can't walk..."

Silence.

All I heard was my own sobbing. Out of panic, I hung up on him and started crying. I... I really told him... What have I done!? I might have just lost my best friend forever..! My Tommy... It was too much for me. I decided to do something I've always wanted to do, yet, I never dared to.

I moved my wheelchair over to my room. I opened a drawer and pulled out a razor. I've always wanted to try it, but the fear of my parents noticing was too big and so, I never managed to do it. But I just ruined everything anyway. Tom probably hated me now. So what was the point? I looked at my arms, then back at the razor.

(WARNING: Self-harm ahead)

I shut my eyes tight and pressed the razor against my skin. I dragged it over swiftly and winced, gasping a little. I saw blood gush out of the wound as I stared down at it... I smiled. And so, I did five more. Three on my right arm and three on my left arm.

(Okay, it's over now.)

I grabbed a tissue and started wiping off the blood, wincing at the feeling. And at that moment...Patryck walked into the room. "Hey, Tord! Are you alrig-" He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me with wide eyes. He was horrified.

"Tord!!" He ran up to me and pulled me into a tight hug, sobbing. I was crying. He was crying. And we were both hugging. Hurt. "Why would you do this, Tord..?" Weakness. "Tordie, what happened?" Pathetic. "Tord!" I closed my eyes and held him tight, because I knew I was...

caught red-handed.

Tom's POV:

He hung up on me. I could not react in any way. Only after five minutes, I snapped out of my trance and stared at my phone. He was offline now. I placed my phone down, trying to understand what just happened. This was a lot to take in, I certainly was not ready for that.

"Tom, I... I can't walk..." His voice rang in my ears. I could hear the pain he felt while saying that, the desperation, basically a cry for help... I could hear the fear. The fear of being unaccepted. He sounded so hurt, so tired...

I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and pouring water in it. I heard Edd come up behind me. "Hi, Tom! What's up?" I looked at him and his smile almost immediately turned into a frown. "Tom... What happened?"

I sighed and put my glass down. I hugged him, searching for comfort, because Edd was hella good at comforting his friends. He got the hint and hugged me back. "Edd... Tord can't walk.." He was confused. "Can't walk? What do you mean?"

I shook my head. "I wish I knew... We were calling and he said he can't walk... Then he hung up on me.." Edd looked me in the eyes. "Tom, what do you think he meant by that..?" I looked away, now feeling a little uncomfortable.

"...He said he's been bullied for it... It definitely isn't something to be taken lightly." He nodded. "Even if I don't know him that well, I am actually very worried for him, Tom.." He said. I agreed. I pulled out my phone and sent him a text message.

PineappleBoi: Tord... What do you mean you can't walk?

Nobody's POV:

Tord's parents were cleaning his wounds in the bathroom while Tord just stared at his legs. His not functioning legs. His useless legs that were just...there. He was glaring at them, they always ruined everything. 'Look what you made me do...'

They were saying something, but he only had Tom on his mind. His phone made a ding sound a few minutes back, but he didn't want to check it. He was disappointed in myself. 'I let my own parents see. They shouldn't have noticed...'

They finished bandaging him up. And then, all their questions came right at him. "Why did you do that to yourself, Tord?" "What happened?" "Is this the first time you did it?!" "When did you start thinking about doing this?"

"URG! Leave me alone!" Tord yelled. He had enough. Using his trusty wheelchair, he went back to his room, grabbing his phone in the meantime. Then, he locked the door behind him and went towards his bed. He carefully moved my body over to his bed and layed down.

Tord cried into his pillow, not wanting any of this to be true. 'And it's all my fault. I just had to tell Tom the truth. He hates me now. And just because of me.' He heard his phone, he recieved another notification. He rubbed my eyes and grabbed it.

PineappleBoi: Tord... What do you mean you can't walk?

PineappleBoi: Tordie... I'm not angry, please tell me...

This was exactly what Tord didn't expect. He knew he was lying. Like everyone else. Yet, his guts still told him to trust Tom. It was strange. Tord had my experiences with liars. They seem nice, but after gaining your trust, they stab you in the back.

But Tom? Tom was different.

And so, Tord grabbed his phone and began texting...