Way too far (TomTord)

21. Call me back

No one's POV:

Nobody joined the call.

Tom's screen showed after trying to call Tord again. But Tord went offline. It was too late to say anything. Was he even coming back? He had to be, right? He wouldn't just leave without a good reason..

But it was a good reason to Tord. It was a great reason for him to cut all their connection. He wanted to talk to Tom so bad, but he couldn't handle a heartbreak. He couldn't handle the truth. The fact that he almost revealed his secret. The fact that he almost destroyed all they had. And for what? Just because of some three words.

They seemed simple. Saying I love you just seemed so so simple. Tord's thoughts wouldn't stop yelling at him as he held onto his pillow, crying into it. He almost forgot how to breathe, all he felt was pain. He heard his phone going off. But did he care?

Clutching the pillow, he threw his head upwards and sharply inhaled. Low on oxygen. That then turned into a coughing fit. He was blacking out just because he forgot to breathe in. Breathing sometimes seemed so hard. And so annoying to deal with.

His chest hurt as his head fell back into his pillow that was already soaked with tears. His sobs filled the room, being interrupted from time to time from his notifications going crazy. And so was Tom. He was having a panic attack. He was shaking as if he was laying in snow with no clothes on. Freezing. With no sign of help anywhere near.

He was spamming Tord out of panic. They both kept this up for about an hour before they passed out, exhausted. But their anxiety wouldn't let them rest peacefully. Waking up every half an hour for the entire night. They became even more exhausted than before. It was no use.

As they both lay in bed, staring into nothing, their minds wondered off. They couldn't stop thinking about each other. But they couldn't get themselves to talk to one another. Tom wanted to text him. To call him. To see his smile and hear his voice telling him everything was going to be okay again.

But it was dead silent. Surely it was just for today. Right..? Wrong. Every minute without each other became more unbearable as time went on. Tom tried texting Tord every day while Tord tried his best to ignore it.

PineappleBoi: Hey, it's me again... Please call me back...

Tord hurt himself. But this time, not by cutting. He didn't wanna deal with his parents finding out and just worrying about him for stupid reasons. He did anything that hurt him, but wouldn't leave any physical marks. So while his skin was clear, his mind was on fire. And the fire was spreading fast.

His previous cuts might have healed, but to Tord, they were still there. And they always will be. He hated what he'd done to himself. And he hated how he affected the people around him. Why did they even care? What did they see so special in Tord?

He tried squeezing his throat and stop right before he was about to pass out from lack of oxygen. He bit his arms, but tried not to go too deep. He sometimes forced himself to throw up for no reason. He was a mess. And he knew it.

Meanwhile, Tom was trying to take it as calmly as possible. He kept trying to contact Tord, but with no success. He tried to take him mind off of him. He tried to hang out with Edd and Matt as much as possible which made him feel better. He explained what happened and they tried their best to comfort him which calmed Tom down.

But at night, neither of them could sleep. Tom was awake more than he should, just waiting for Tord to come back to him. He believed he was coming back. He trusted him and he was sure that he wasn't gonna be gone forever.

PineappleBoi: Tord please... I beg you... Please pick up... Call me back when you can..

Three days passed. Then four, five and six. A week passed. Two weeks passed. Every single day, Tord felt more miserable. He had never felt this alone. Even though he was like this all the time before he met Tom. Suddenly, something was missing.

Tom was losing all his hope. He wasn't even sure if Tord was alive anymore which broke him apart even more. Edd and Matt made sure to be there for him whenever he needed them so he could have a shoulder to cry on and a friend to hug. Tord, however, kept this all a secret. He bottled up the feelings Tom was open about.

PineappleBoi: Tord I can't take it anymore.. I miss you so bad.. Please... Call me back...

Ten days after what happened, Tord couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't ready to talk to Tom. But he wanted to say something. No, he needed to say something. Tom was probably freaking out because of Tord. And Tord hated hurting Tom. So he grabbed his phone.

Tom's POV:

I was sitting on the couch, drinking some water. Edd and Matt were beside me as we watched some show on TV that I wasn't paying attention to. What did catch my eye, however, was my phone going off.

You have 1 new message from N0RSK1.

My heart began beating fast. I almost dropped my water. I grabbed my phone at the speed of light and opened the message. Edd and Matt looked at me confused, but their faces brightened up when they saw and stared at the screen with me.

N0RSK1: Hey Tom..

N0RSK1: I'm so sorry...

N0RSK1: I freaked out so much.. I just am not really mentally stable right now.. I don't even know what to say.. I just wannna apologize for everything...

PineappleBoi: HOLY CROISSANT ON THE MOON YOU'RE OKAY!!

N0RSK1: I guess.?

PineappleBoi: You have no idea how worried I was!

N0RSK1: I'm sorry for worrying you I just couldn't say it.

I stood up from the couch, walking to my room and looking at Edd and Matt for the last time. Matt nodded and Edd gave me a big thumbs up, both giving me a sweet smile. I smiled back lightly and went to my room, locking the door.

I tapped on the call icon. My phone rang as I was filled with flashbacks. But this time, he's going to pick up. He really is.

Connecting...

My anxiety began rising. I stared at the screen. I could hear my heart freaking out as my whole body began freaking out. Sweating and shaking. He isn't picking up... Please pick up, Tord.. Tordie, please... Ple-

"Tom..." My eyes widened as I pressed the phone against my ear. I didn't hear his voice for so long... It almost feels more like a memory. "Tord! You have no idea how amazing it is to hear you again!!" I smiled, my eyes filling with tears.

"...Why? I just made you worry about my useless self." "Don't you dare put yourself down again." I heard a quiet chuckle from the other side. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth." I rubbed my eyes. "Tord." I took a breath. "What made you freak out so much?"

Silence. I swear to Jehovah if he quits the call aga- "I don't wanna lose you, Tom..." Huh? Lose me? "What do you mean? I'm not leaving you." "Are you sure about that, Tom?" "More than sure." I sat down on the floor and leaned against the door. "Please explain."

Tord's POV:

No. Yes? Yes. No. Maybe. "Tord." He called from the other side. I couldn't let this get out of hand again. I took a deep breath again. My brain was breaking out. My heart was freaking out. My whole body was freaking out.

"Tom... Just block me." "What!?" "Just block me. I'm not worth your time." I stared down blankly. "No, you're not worth my time. Because you're way more than that. I wanna spend all the time I have left on this world with you. I don't ever want us to get seperated again. I don't want to leave you. And I don't want you to leave me."

My face heated up. 'If this doesn't scream that he likes me then I don't know what does. If this isn't love...I really don't know what is. Do I even understand love? Do I understand him? Do I understand myself?' The thoughts kept on going. I hesitated for a moment. But only for a moment.

"Hey Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what I wanted to say back then? All those ten days ago? Those 240 hours ago? Those 14 400 minutes ago?"

"..."

"Tom...

...I love you."