A Mother's Bond

31

Sarayah August 3, 2016
"So then what happened?" I asked, trying to look up at Solange, who was braiding my hair for the night.

It was our last night in Houston. Solo, Bey, and I were sitting in the living room watching old home videos. I didn't want to jinx it, but things had been really good recently. After Beyoncé and I talked, we stopped fighting and started getting to know each other. It was a little hard at first. We'd spent so long being at each other's throats that being friendly felt strange, but good.

Aunty Kellz and Aunty Chelle had left a few days earlier. I was a little nervous about how we would get along after they left. In some ways their presence had made things between Beyoncé and I feel more natural. It turned out to be fine though. We still had Solo. I loved watching the dynamic between her and Bey.

At the moment, Solo was trying to provide me with context for the home videos. Though Beyoncé always seemed to have a very different version of the events. Solange was probably exaggerating if not outright lying, but it was entertaining, so I listened.

"Well, after I had just saved your young life–"

"After putting it in danger," Beyoncé interjected, laughing.

"Irrelevant. I was a hero," Solo asserted, turning back to me. "Anyway, like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I had just saved your life, and I was expecting some sort of thank you. Reasonable, right?"

I giggled, knowing damn well she was wrong. "Of course, it's only right."

"Exactly. But do you know what I got instead?" She asked, glaring accusingly at Bey.

I smiled. "An ass wh–"

"AN ASS WHOOPIN'! Can you believe that?" She shouted, incredulously. "Never in my 18 years of living had I ever been so shocked."

Beyoncé rolled her eyes. "Would you just play the damn video already?"

Solo held up her hands. "Hey, she needs to know why I look like I got hit by a truck." She leaned down to look in my eye. "Your mama is WILD. I'm warning you. She hasn't beat that little behind of yours yet because she was being all careful. But now y'all are cool or whatever, so you need to watch out."

I turned to Beyoncé. "You wouldn't beat me, right?"

Bey laughed, and I frowned at her, not feeling comforted by her reaction. Solo tapped my head with the comb.

"Watch out. Seriously. That left hook will knock your soul right out of your body."

A shiver ran down my spine. Pinpricks of unwanted memories poked at my conscious, making their presence known. I clenched my jaw involuntarily as I tried to block out the flood of panic threatening to overtake me. Beyoncé touched my arm, and I flinched a bit.

She looked at me, worried. "She's just kidding, of course. I'm not gonna beat you."

I nodded, forcing a laugh. "I know. I was just thinking about how crazy Solo's gonna look in this video. Let's watch."

I reached behind me and grabbed the remote, hurriedly pressing play before any questions could be asked. I could feel Solo and Bey staring at me, but I ignored them, pretending to be fully immersed in the video. After watching a few more tapes, we decided to call it a night. I trudged to my bed, still feeling aftereffects from the brief, unwanted reminder of my past. I didn't want to go to sleep with those feelings. I knew it might trigger my nightmares again, and this time I wouldn't have Nevaeh to calm me down. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped.

Beyoncé held up her hands. "Sorry, I just wanted to check on you. You've been a little off since Solo mentioned the whole beating thing and...I don't know if it had anything to do with those nightmares you have but–"