A Mother's Bond

47

Beyoncé October 1, 2016
I sat in my room, seething. Solange thought she knew everything. It was easy to sit there and judge when you were outside the situation. So easy to say "you shouldn't" this and "you shouldn't" that. But how could she expect me to welcome Sarayah back with open arms after everything she'd done? She'd willingly left with her kidnapper, knowing damn well how much losing her hurt the first time. Then, because that wasn't enough pain, she'd faked her own death. Then, to truly shit on me, she'd kidnapped my last remaining child.

I shook my head. There was no way in hell I was forgiving her for all that. I couldn't. How could I forgive her when I knew she was just waiting for another chance to hurt me? I'd let her back in, care about her, and then she'd leave. I wasn't a fucking hotel manager. You couldn't just walk in and out of my life whenever you wanted to. So as far as Sarayah was concerned, I held no responsibility. Honestly, she was lucky I hadn't kicked her out already. If Solange thought she could give me some sort of wake-up call by threatening to take Sarayah away, she was sorely mistaken. I wasn't going to change my mind. I stood up, deciding to go check on Blue.

I walked towards Blue's room. Voices drifted through the crack in the door. I pushed it open the rest of the way. Jay was sitting in an armchair, talking to Blue and Sarayah who were sitting on the bed. I glared at the scene, angrily.

"Shouldn't she be asleep, resting or something?" I briefly glanced over at Sarayah who had a huge ice pack covering half her face. I resisted the urge to look at her. To run to her. Hold her. This wasn't my daughter anymore.

Jay looked up at me, unfazed. "She was, until your crazy shouting woke her up. So, now we're having a conversation."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Get out."

"Whatever happens between us, Bey, you can't keep me away from my kids."

I folded my arms. "I'm not keeping you away from them, Jay. Blue needs to sleep. She had a long night."

Jay gave me a measured look before he nodded. He stood up and gave Blue a big kiss on the cheek.

"Sweet dreams, baby girl."

When Jay moved towards Sarayah, she flinched. Weird. Jay leaned away from her, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"We'll talk later?" He asked, keeping his distance.

Sarayah nodded, avoiding eye contact. Jay gave her a small smile and walked out. I watched him leave, before turning to look at Sarayah. She was wearing baggy clothes that seemed to swallow her whole. She looked...wrong. Off. A chill ran through me. I shook off the feeling. It was probably just my reaction to seeing her after so long.

I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why she hadn't moved.

"Did you not hear me when I said Blue needs to sleep? Get. Out."

A flash of hurt crossed Sarayah's face, so quick I wasn't even sure I saw it. She turned to Blue. "I'm sorry, Blue. I have to go now."

Blue clung to her arm, pouting. "No, stay, please. Just for a little bit."

Sarayah shook her head. "I can't. I'll come see you when you wake up."

I frowned. "No, you won't. You're gonna stay far away from her. Now get out."

I showed her the door, and she pursed her lips. She lowered the ice pack, holding it in her lap. My eyes widened when I saw her swollen face. It was purple and three times its normal size. My hand flew to my chest as my heart contracted tightly, but I quickly pulled myself together, clamping down on my instinctual feeling of concern.