JADE

JADE [2]

REMEMBER: VOTE FIRST!

(Friday) (January)

-BLUE-

"SHE LOOKS straight up like you. Did the dad put in any work when you were getting her?" Brandon asks next to me and I chuckle.

At every opportunity he gets, he takes a jab at my baby's father, but I never give him a reaction. I never show whether or not I cared about the guy. For all Brandon knows, Kevin is a man that I was with for a few months before I got pregnant with my daughter and I've never heard from him since.

"She has his eyes" I admit truthfully to him because as much as I hated the fact, my daughter has her father's same exact eyes. And almost his same exact personality. Because of her, I see him every single day.

"Just his eyes? When you have my baby, it has to look more like me than you" he states almost too genuinely and matter-of-factly that I quickly turn to look at him.

Brandon is a very handsome African-American man. I know undoubtedly that a child with him will certainly be a cutie, but I just can't see myself being the woman to carry that cutie. There's just so much lacking between us that even the thought of having sex with him seems almost implausible. It's been nearly five years since he's been trying to get with me, and I have tried to reciprocate the sentiment, but there's just something that's not there.

There's no spark. There's no heat, no butterflies at the pit of my stomach, there's nothing. Nothing but appreciation for his efforts maybe.

I question what it is that could possibly be broken inside me because it's as though I'm immune to this man's charm and handsomeness. Not even his success moves me.

"You know, he actually put more work into having her than I did. It's a miracle that she looks that much like me" I admit truthfully, for the very first time, to him.

"Man, there's no way I'm believing that" he slowly licks his lips and my eyes follow the movement. He's so attractive! I don't understand why the fire is not there.

"Believe it" a small smile forms on my lips as I faintly recall the day I got pregnant with Lehi. I briefly wonder how Brandon will react if I tell him that my daughter was actually conceived in a backyard against a glass door, but I quickly opt for the lather.

Some things you just have keep to yourself...

"Mommy!" Lehi calls from somewhere, instantly snapping me out of thoughts and causing me to immediately start searching for her. Her speedy little legs are running right towards me and Brandon.

"Slow down, Mook!" I call out to her, standing up from the bench and lightly jogging towards her so I can meet her halfway.

She laughs happily when I sweep her off her feet and kiss her cheeks. She wraps her limbs around me and pecks my lips. "It's hot" she says breathlessly.

I give her a questioning look because it's mid January, which means that it's nowhere near hot in Kinspring. "It's not hot"

"But I want to take off my jacket" she states and already I knew that's where she wanted to get at. She hates wearing the jackets that are meant to keep her warm and toasty.

"You're gonna get sick if you do"

"No I'm not" she protests like she usually did.

"Lehi" I say in my mommy voice as I look into her brown eyes. "Who's the mommy here, you or me?"

"Me" my daughter bursts into a fist of hysterical laughter, erratically causing me to laugh as well. "I'm your mommy"

"Then get off of me" I attempt to place her small body back onto the ground but she holds on to me even tighter than before.