JADE

JADE [33]

REMEMBER: VOTE FIRST!

(Friday) (January)

-JADE-

SOMETIMES IN life, we make stupid ass decisions. We make decisions that at the moment feels like the best one. We make decisions that we think sometimes will help lead us towards better choices. We make decisions because we can, even though they're not always right.

Five years ago, I made a decision to leave behind everyone and everything. Why? Firstly, because I could. I have free will. Secondly, because I thought it was the best decision. And lastly, I thought my decision would lead to better things. Towards a better life. Towards happiness. I thought my decision would lead towards a new beginning.

It did.

It led me towards a new beginning, yes, that it did. Did it lead me towards everything else though? Absolutely not. But sadly I'd already made a decision. All that was left to do was to deal with the consequences of that decision. I did.

With a baby in my stomach, I took every repercussion that my decision threw at me. I did.

With a child in my arms, I continued to take the whips and the lashes of my decision. I did.

With a toddler to raise, I stood with the little bit of strength that I had left and took the beating for my decision. That, I did.

Do I regret the decision that I made almost six years ago?

Maybe.

Would I make that same decision again?

Yes, in a heartbeat.

Why?

Because that's what I thought was best for me at the time.

As I stand in this beautiful, and I mean absolutely breathtaking lounge that's in my ex-best friends' church, I realize that mistakes need to happen in order to learn. Bad decisions need to be made in order to apprehend life. Jade, had to be Blue so that Kevin could go find her to remind her that changing her identity didn't change the blood that runs through her veins. I had to leave in order to be back here without wanting to run away.

"I'm nervous" I whisper to Kevin.

That's all I am, nervous. Not scared. Which is very surprising to me because scared was the main feeling that I thought I'd feel if I was to ever return to New Jersey. My father who tried to rape me roams freely on the streets.

Kevin wraps his arm around me "They're going to be so ecstatic to see you" he kisses the side of my head.

"Like, for real for real, this is a church?" Ky'rie comes back in the room with a surprised look on her face. "They have an arcade, about five or six elevators, a huge waiting room" she counts on her well-manicured fingers. "They have a conference room, an orchestra room, a huge kitchen, a food bank–"

"Dang, how many places did you already go to?!" Kiana interjects.

"A lot! I only got to the third floor, though. They have five! And tell me how I almost got lost coming back here. They have about four more of those rooms that we're in right now!"

Kevin chuckles next to me. I shake my head with an amused smile.

"They have a tall behind spiral on the second floor, a food court, and probably more stuff that I didn't really have time to see. I saw a security guard so I ran" Ky'rie continues.

"Why did you run?" Ramiah asks with an amused smile of his own. I can't yet decipher what that look was when he looks at her. Is it love? Admiration?