Songs Of A Brokenhearted Soul

★Rant VI

It hurts when your expectations don't coincide to the current events happening to you in the real life. You have thought of so many wonderful possibilities, too many ecstatic dreams swimming into life inside your head but they aren't going to come true, they aren't and will never be going to happen, not in your wildest dreams, for they only exist inside the corners of your brain. It sucks, it drives you crazy as the situations you have been dreaming of to happen is happening to other people. They look so genuinely happy to live inside the dreams you've been dying to live for. It makes you feel envious as the fragments of your imaginations are slowly dissipating in front of your very own eyes, as they hug someone else who don't have any idea about the crazy scrappy dreams you've been fantasizing of. It makes you even more anxious to see someone who doesn't give a damn to what is to happen, to someone who is receiving merits they don't even give a sweat of. Isn't it so happy? Fate is sure mocking you.

Nevertheless, why do you feel so insecure in the first place? Who have given you the rights to feel so jealous over some silly crazy dreams of yours not happening? Faugh! You made it all, you got some extreme illness of being too ambitious, you've got the problem. It isn't even the strings of fate's fault. It is your own damn mindset that pulls you down into the abyss of your sorrows. It isn't anyone's doings that drove you to feel extremely bitter over the success of other people, it is your own silly high expectations that made you feel so depressed, and the roots of it all is PRIDE.

Come to think of it, if you didn't expect too high in the beginning, if you didn't go flying the highest you wouldn't be feeling grievously angry to what life is offering you right now. You wouldn't fear to fall into the depths of insecurities and be thinking of a senseless thought that someone  is going to surpass and humiliate you.

You don't need to become so prideful to get to the place you expect you to be. You don't need to become too greedy to get power so that everyone will fear you. And most especially you don't need to become so envious just because someone else has achieved the dreams you've been dreaming to reach.

Stop setting HIGH standards, instead learn to live easy, but not as easily as rudimentary. Stop pleasing society and meeting their expectations for you, instead live by loving yourself.

(Tsk! Why am I writing this in the first place? It's as if I'm obliviously hitting myself. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, who gives a damn about you people.)