Wildflower (Kris Bryant)

12 Big Spoon

Serenity

Kris and I have been together for a while now. We've been dating for well over a month, I've met his parents and he has talked to mine a few times. As far as relationships go this is by far my most serious one. Partially because we have to be together because we work together. But mostly because we both felt like we were perfect for each other and loved to be around one another. Every day he's here we hang out or go on little dates. He always brings me flowers and I make sure to sneak in sweet little notes in his itinerary. If you ask me this relationship is a little too perfect, but you won't find me complaining about it.

Late one night after the game I agree to come over to Kris' place for a while. He bribed me with popcorn and tea and I broke down easily. Not like I didn't want to come over, I just gotta make sure I take it easy and don't get myself into a situation I can't get myself out of. So I find us some movies to watch and we plop onto the couch hoping for a nice easy night. I change into one of his shirts and a pair of my shorts before climbing into his lap. We put on The Lion King and shamelessly sing along to all the songs.

Kris and I were a lot alike on many ways. Besides baseball and reading we had everything else in common. Even then I was learning about baseball and Kris was learning about literature. And somewhere along the way these feelings I have for him keep getting stronger and stronger. I couldn't tell him no anymore, even though I knew that I probably shouldn't come over this late I did it anyway because my heart told me so.

About halfway through the movie I saw he was getting tired so I get him a pillow and a blanket. He lays down on the couch and he pulls me on top of him. My head rests on his chest and I'm sure my heart was going to go all out of wack now.

Me being the nerd I was, I've never cuddled with a guy before. Never even laid with one. I have to admit I was a little bit nervous. Was I crushing him? Was his heart racing too? Should I be the big spoon?

"What are you thinking so hard about" he asks catching me in mid contemplation.

I look up at him as he finishes laying the blanket around us. I wrap my arms around him and place my head on his chest again so I don't have to look in those darn eyes. "I've never cuddled before" I mumble.

"What" he asks and I feel my cheeks burn.

"I've never cuddled before" I repeat a bit louder and a bit clearer. I feel his chest start to vibrate as he tries to hide his chuckles. But I still felt it.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of" he assures me.

"They why did you laugh" I pout.

He scoffs loudly as I pick my head up just so I can glare at him. "I'm not laughing" he tries. "I think it's actually really cute. You're super comfy and I love the feeling of you in my arms. You're a great cuddler" he promises.

"This is pretty nice" I admit.

He starts to run his fingers through my short brown and I didn't even care the he was breaking up all my curls. This was bliss and I never wanted it to end. So I keep my head on his chest and try to keep my eyes open. I wasn't even paying attention to the movie that was on. All I could hear was the beating of his heart and it was so beautiful. It had a great rhythm and nice strong beats.

"You have such a strong heart" I tell him as my eyes start to flutter shut. I can feel myself start to fall asleep and I wanted so bad to stay awake. But it's late and my medicine makes me so tired.

So I fall asleep there in his arms. And for once I have a dream of a future. A real future where my heart isn't a problem. I'm happy and I'm healthy and I'm in Kris' arms, right where I belong.

I end up waking up much later that I wanted to. I see the sun peaking through the window and I knew it was morning time. I softly reach over and grab my phone. I see some texts from my parents asking where I was and I let out a groan. I'm never going to hear the end of this.

I set my phone down and turn to Kris. I was about to wake him up but I stop myself to admire him for a little. He was so peaceful, like he doesn't have one of the most stressful jobs out there. I don't know a lot about sports but I read the news. I see the guys committing suicide or over dosing because of the pressure, they're losing their minds and ends up in some type of help center.

But then there's this man who I was laying with who never acted like he was a famous athlete. You leave this place and his name and face was everywhere. Like he's the best thing to happen to this city since Michael Jordan. And all he wanted to do was play baseball and spend time with me. He went to the things that was scheduled for him like his sponsor stuff and whatever the Cubs asked for him. But outside of that he just likes to be a normal human being. My favorite human being actually.

I manage to slide off of him and leave him a sweet note telling him that I had a great night but had to get home. I would have loved to stay and eat breakfast but I cannot miss taking my pills and getting something to eat. So I pick my things up and leave to head on home.

I walk in the door and see my dad sitting there reading his newspaper on the love seat. He had my coffee and breakfast out for me along with my medication and I smile.

"I don't come home last night and you welcome me back with breakfast and not a single word" I question as I set my stuff down in the living room.

"I just assumed you fell asleep at Kris'" he claims.

"And you're okay with this" I challenge him.

He just laughs as he turns back to his newspaper. "You're the least of my worries. I trust you and I trust Kris. I knew you would be here in time to take your medication" he claims.

"Is that so" I smirk.

"You literally always do the right thing, even when it's not convenient for you. But you know this would be so much easier if you just told him. You could spend the night whenever you wanted because you could bring your pills with you" he explains.

"I know. But you should have seen his face when I coughed up blood. Like I was about to die right there in front of him. I don't ever want to see his face like that ever again" I whisper.

"Lying to him doesn't solve anything" he reminds me. "The doctor gave you a month before you can't keep this to yourself. It's going to come out one way or another. I would much rather it come from you than for him to find out you're in the hospital on life support."

"And what if he tries to save me and he can't? What if he stops everything to try and stop something he can't? What do I tell him then? To let me go? To give up on us because I can't promise him a future? He doesn't deserve to be lied to but he doesn't deserve to try to live for me then fail" I defend.

"Come here" my dad says as he calls me over. He pulls me into a hug and close my eyes to stop the tears. "You're strong. We're going to do this whatever way you want" he promises.

"Thank you."