Wildflower (Kris Bryant)

51 Can't Let Go

Kris

Once Serenity wakes up she was already feeling a lot better. Her eyes were all the way open and she didn't sound like a totally different person. They actually cured her and she looked like she was ready to face the world again. She had one more day in the hospital before she got to leave but we were lucky we got her here before the damage was done. That infection is no joke, especially for someone who has had the problems she has had. If she damages another heart then who knows what could happen. But she's going to be okay and that's all that matters.

"What are you thinking so hard about" I ask her as we sit in the hospital room. She had some food in her lap as she actually cleans the bowl out for once. Then again I couldn't tell you the last time I saw her eat.

"Just of that day when I tried to let you go so you wouldn't be stuck with me like this. I tried to shield you from seeing me in pain and sick but you're so damn stubborn you wouldn't let me prevent you from being hurt like this" she claims.

I just smile as I rest my head on her shoulder. She cups my cheek with her hand as we just exist together. "I was never going to leave you. That wasn't a actual possibility. You could have pushed and pushed but I wasn't going to give up on what we had no matter how scared I was. I get what you were trying to do, the whole "if you love something then let it go" type of situation. You didn't want me sleeping in the hospital by your side just praying that you were going to wake up again. You didn't want me worried about you or losing you. But you could have told me you had a week to live and I wouldn't have left your side" I insist.

"It's kinda gross how much you love me" she accuses.

"I can stop" I tease.

"No you couldn't" she scoffs and I smile.

"No, I couldn't" I admit. "I wasn't going to leave that house that day until you knew that there was nothing in this life we couldn't overcome, together. I could tell you were scared and you didn't want to hurt me. You didn't want me to see you have to go through this. But nothing would have hurt more than leaving you that day and you didn't get that I wasn't going to leave no matter how hard it got. No matter what I'm going to be by your side, you know that right" I ask.

She turns to me with a big smile on her face, the first one like that I've seen since she got sick. "Of course baby. It's you and I forever" she promises.

She wraps her hand around the wildflower necklace I got her and I smile back. I knew then that we were going to make it.

I let her rest for a little and I head home to take care of our puppies. Her parents had been looking over them but I wanted to make sure they're okay, especially Cooper since he was the one that found Ren like that and those two are inseparable sometimes. I let them out into the back yard and they chase each other around. I sit on the deck as it starts to snow around me. Being from Vegas then going to school in California the snow was such a mystery to me. I mean not too long ago I was in Vegas where it was a toasty 80 degrees. Now it's walking the line of 8 degrees and my dogs were trying to see who could catch the most snow flakes in their mouths. Up until last year I had never even see snow before so this was pretty great.

I look around the backyard and start to think to myself. I see so much space out here to do something but I wasn't sure what. A big reason I wanted a big back yard was to do something with it... but what? It's winter time so I wasn't worried about it right now. There wasn't much I can do it with the snow covering the ground but I would love to get a idea for the spring.

I get my fur babies back inside and dry them off so they don't mess up the house and Serenity feels obligated to clean it when she gets home tomorrow. When she comes home I just want her to be able to relax and take care of herself. She turned in her book before she got sick so she had a lot on her mind as is. I just want her to feel happy at home.

So I go to my laptop and look through my schedule. Ren was still doing this for me because it's a habit and she enjoys it. So I look through what we had planned for the holidays and afterwards. I see a picture of her and I at the botanical gardens and I smile. I look at all the flowers and remember how she was my wildflower.

I turn my head from the computer and look out the window. I see the snow falling onto our back yard and smile big.

It would be awesome to have our own little botanical garden here. We've already made so many great memories, maybe we can make it our own little project and make some more. We can have a little pond and flowers and some trees that turn beautiful colors in fall. I know she would love that even though the garden is our one excuse to leave during the summer. But we will always have that place where we first told each other we loved one another, where I realized that she was the one for me. No one can take that away from us. But to have a piece of that in our home would be a lot of fun.

So I start to look into some designs and layouts and stuff. What I needed to do in order to be a able to have a working pond and all the other good stuff. Hell, I might even put a gazebo back there because I can and because I know Serenity would spend every day out there reading if she gets the chance. Maybe I can surprise her and her with it for our one year anniversary.