Soccer imagines

•karim benzema•

By fortheloveoffutbol

My hands ran awkwardly through my hair that was in a messy heap on my head, the once loose curls now completely fallen. I was tucked tightly into one of Karim's blankets while I lay against the couch mindlessly alternating between playing with my hair and my fingers until he came back into the room.
This wasn't a conversation I wanted to have. I thought, stupidly, that I would never have to touch on the subject but how idiotic would that thought be? How could I avoid telling the guy I was sleeping with I had just gotten out of a complicated relationship and my ex had convinced me to come visit him at his new home that was a flight away?
I had no claims to Karim. He wasn't my boyfriend or anything of the sort but what was supposed to be a friendship after I randomly bumped into him one night turned out to be two people sexually pleasing each other. I guess most would have called it a friends with benefits sort of relationship but at times I thought we went a bit beyond friends considering he had talked me into a few dates.
I had rejected him at first, insisting that the timing was all wrong for me and that was the truth. I had gotten out of this long, complicated relationship with a man I still had emotional attachments to. I wasn't looking to fall back into love after being thrown out of that feeling in the harshest way possible.
But he persisted and insisted and now here we were, a few dates later with me lying naked on his couch and him walking back into the room shirtless and in training shorts. He took a seat in the chair across from me silently until I spoke up.
"I'm taking a flight to London in a few days."
I hadn't meant to blurt it out the way I did. I wanted to ease into the conversation but it seemed my mouth wasn't up for much easing.
His eyes narrowed and he took a swig of the drink in his hand. "What's in London?"
Should I lie? Should I say it was for work purposes? I didn't know why in the hell I was so scared to tell the truth to Karim. He wasn't my boyfriend, right? He couldn't be mad at me going to see my ex, right? My friend had insisted that his reaction would tell me all that I needed to know. That if he became pissed or angry it showed that he truly cared for me beyond sex but if he showed no hint of emotion at all that I was really just another piece of ass to him. I was honestly scared for which reaction he would show.
It was hard to know with Karim. He wasn't some overly emotional person. He didn't cling to me or invade my inbox with sweet messages but he showed another side of him in little ways I couldn't quite describe like having roses delivered to my desk or going to my favorite café a few hours before me to pay for my lunch before I even arrived because he knew I wouldn't just accept the money. But what if he does this for every woman that sexually pleases him when he's lonely?
Not that he was really all that lonely. He probably had other women too.
"Uh..."
He interrupted my daydream and I quickly collected myself, suddenly self-conscious and pulling the blanket tighter around my body like I was in a cocoon. I decided to be honest. "My ex reached out to me. He wants me to come visit...to settle some things between us."
I watched his reaction while biting my lip. He showed no flash of emotion. His face stayed nearly the same and he coolly took a sip of his drink. "Oh. Cool," Karim finally spoke.
Cool? Cool!? It was cool that I was going all the way to London to see my ex?
"Right," was all I could say.
"Well I'll see you when you get back." Karim gave a small smile.
"Right," I repeated.
–
I should have known my trip to London would leave me feeling worse than before my departure. I had called Karim once and he hadn't bothered to answer. Feeling rejected, I decided not to embarrass myself anymore and though I was now back I didn't even ring him up to hang out. I had other reasons to be mad myself.
If it wasn't enough to think that Karim had other women, I had the pleasure of enduring the light media storm that was pictures of him and Rihanna, enjoying nights out together around New York.
New York.
He hadn't even told me he planned on making that trip but I had my proof now with all of the pictures I sat staring at for an unhealthy amount of time. I shouldn't have been jealous but I was and it was like adding insult to injury I had to listen to the buzz from my friends that there was another woman in Karim's life.
My friend Melissa was the gossip queen. She knew everything about everyone so when we sat in my den cuddled up on the couch with ice cream, I wasn't surprised at all when Karim's name came up. My other friend Nessa sat next to us as well. She was the only one that knew about my relationship with Karim since she was the only one who I felt comfortable telling without looking like a groupie. Melissa was clueless.
"So...apparently my co-worker has scored a date with Karim Benzema." Melissa enthusiastically wriggled her eyebrows.
"What? A date?" Nessa probed.
"Yes. Apparently it's an official date. Not an 'I just wanna fuck you' date. Though I'm sure they're going to end up having sex because I mean...come on."
"Oh you're just now realizing that he's a hoe?" I bitterly spewed. Nessa cocked her head in my direction with surprise at my harsh reaction. I simply shrugged and took my spoon into my mouth, dragging the ice cream against my tongue.
Melissa giggled. "No I think I always knew."
I shrugged again and thankfully the conversation got onto another topic though my mind never really let go of Melissa's admission even once my friends left.
I decided to retreat to my backyard after changing into my bikini so I could lay out and enjoy the sun for a bit. I laid out on the beach-style reclining chair and closed my eyes while lying under the warmth. I'm not sure how long I was like that but the feeling of something smooth, like fingers, crawling against my skin made me shiver and jump out of my dazed state.
When I opened my eyes, I was met by the face of a smiling, nearly laughing Karim as his fingers had been trailing up from my bikini line. "Hi."
"What are you doing here?"
"You forgot that you showed me where your spare key is?"
"Oh." I sat up, still letting my sunglasses block the harsh look I held in my eyes. "How was New York?" My tone was accusatory and Karim could tell as he backed away from me and let out an amused chuckle.
"Um...great? I don't know if that's how I should answer that question."
"Answer it honestly. I mean, you were enjoying your time with Rihanna so I would assume it was great. You looked happy."
He laughed once more, this time in disbelief. "Wait seriously? That's what this is about?"
I gave off a gentle shrug, no longer wanting to entertain the conversation. I laid back on my chair and closed my eyes but Karim simply walked over and snatched the glasses off of my face to make me pay him attention. "Answer the question."
Oh, now I wanted to talk. "I just find it funny how you randomly decide to take a trip to NY after I told you I'm going to London. Then on top of that, you're setting up dates here. Geez," I broke out into a sarcastic clap. "Bravo, Karim. You're just knocking everyone off of your list."
"What the fuck do you mean by that? You're the one who jolted off to see your ex-boyfriend and it's me who's in the wrong here? That makes a ton of sense," he sarcastically spewed.
I got up then, about to make my way back inside of my place but Karim grabbed my arm back to force me to look at him. "No. We're not done talking."
"No. We are. Fuck you. I don't care. Do you. Do everyone! That's what you're doing anyway."
"I didn't fuck anyone! You see some pictures and assume you know everything! You don't. Reality check I took pictures with a lot of people. I'm sorry media isn't as interested in those."
"You can lie about that and try to disguise it but you can't lie about the fact you set up a date with some woman when you got back."
Karim practically threw my arm out of his hold as if he was disgusted with himself for touching me. I could tell he was angry because his features exploited all of his feelings but in the silence we shared, I saw him beginning to calm down. "It wasn't a date like you're thinking."
Too bad I wasn't as calm. "Then what type of date is it? Huh?"
"I was in a bad mood. You left me to go see your ex that I didn't even know about so I had to do something. Yeah, asking a woman out on a date when I don't really plan on entertaining her wasn't the best solution to that but what else was I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for you to get back like I'm your little flunky?"
"So your solution to your jealousy is picking up other women?"
He sighed. "I never said it was a smart solution but yes."
It was what I wanted to hear. I wanted to know that he was jealous that I may have possibly had an existing relationship with another man but I just wished it would have been said earlier, when I made my confession. Then again life didn't always work that way.
In my silence, Karim took that opportunity to walk closer to me, pulling me closer to him as he murmured, "I'm sorry."
Maybe it was time we define what we were, set boundaries that we both understood but in that moment I didn't want to go into that deep of a conversation. I just wanted to continue enjoying his hold so I placed my head against his chest and responded with, "It's okay."