Misfortune [manxman]

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I was sitting on the couch in our living room, all wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and watching some sort of cartoon show about a dog and a cat being best friends and going on adventures together while gnawing on beef jerky. The news about the war were too depressing for me, I didn't want to watch a love story while Collin and I were fighting and the rest of the movies were too scary for me. I liked cutesy things which didn't require me to think too much, I also liked running around in Collin's shirts which were way too big for me and just socks on, I liked snuggles, attention and kisses. 

What I didn't like was us fighting the entire time, making me feel helpless. The cold shoulders and sad side glances hurt more than anything in the world and I'd rather get beaten over and over again if that meant Collin didn't have to be upset. I was almost at the point where I was going to give in and let it be just to see him happy again. I wasn't even sure why I insisted on him sharing his past with me and opening up about his feelings to me. So what if he didn't want to tell me? I had no right to force him.

I heard him walk around upstairs restlessly and I really, really wanted to get up, sneak up the stairs and ask him for forgiveness and some snuggles, so we could go back to being happy. I was going to be completely fine with him punishing me for misbehaving as long as there was going to be lots of cuddles and attention from him afterwards. Before I got the chance to give in to the temptation, I heard him stomp down the stairs, walk into the kitchen and spread the chaos he was turning every room in the house into because he never bothered to put stuff back and then came back out to check on me.

"Why aren't you in bed?" He wanted to know, squinting his eyes. "It's late. You need your sleep."

I tightened my blanket around me and turned my nose up at him to signal him I wasn't going to let him trick me into making out with him again like I had been a few times over the past days. There was a no body contact rule I had placed and he respected it for now which unfortunately meant I wasn't going to get any kisses, snuggles or attention any time soon. I had trouble following that rule though and with every time I ignored him, it was getting harder and harder not to throw that rule out the window and beg for some play time.

"I don't want to sleep next to you." I replied, retreating further into my blanket. "I can take care of myself."

He looked a little hurt and I immediately regretted having said it like this. I could have worded it so much better. While it was true and I thought he was being very stubborn and mean by not at least trying to compromise, that didn't justify me hurting him. I tried not to cry as his hard gaze fell on me again and this time he had completely retreated behind a stone cold facade to protect himself and I wanted nothing more than to apologize but he opened his mouth before I could and I could tell I hurt him. 

"Why?" He asked, defensive.

"I don't like you right now." I pouted, trying to look cute so he wouldn't be too mad.

It didn't work out the way I wanted and I waited for him to bash me over the head like Moros always had to train me to do better but of course he didn't. He just stood there and watched me while I wished I had never opened my stupid mouth and just kept quiet and went along with whatever he wanted. That was the only thing I was really good at, one of the few activities I enjoyed whole-heartedly and it didn't make him push me away, instead he wanted me to be even closer. We could be happy.

"You don't like me." He repeated but leaving out the most important part.

"Yes, you are mean currently." I mumbled, playing with the edge of my blanket. "You bully people. You bully me."