It's a Love-Hate relationship

CHAPTER 46: I'd rather be pecked to death by hummingbirds

Anger is an immensely powerful emotion. It destroys even the strongest foundations because once harsh words are exchanged, nothing done can take them back or even rectify the situation. Thought otherwise, anger can be termed off as absurd since people do not really think twice before reacting. They do or say anything they feel like because, in that moment, something in them is triggered. And that trigger stems from some deep, concealed emotions that the person cannot control even if they try to.

Finding out the truth that was played along all this time certainly managed to wound me. Again. And the worst part? I admitted to myself that I liked him. I actually did. Once again, what my mind thought to be true – that feelings are bullshit – actually proved to be right. But the lesson came along with lots of pain. I feel like beating and criticizing myself to the point where it finally enters my head and I could forget all about Caleb and what he did to me.

But alas, I just know that this will take a really long time to forget and banish from my thoughts because he did really leave a mark in my life.

"Thanks, Maddie. For everything."

"Why? This is what I'm here for, you idiot. For you." She smiles at me and I hug her, glad that at least one person would be permanent in my life. Pulling back, we both get out of her car and walk towards our classes. After the horrendous scene, I witnessed yesterday evening, I could not be able to utter a word even and I fled from the house. Luckily, I did not have to spend the night on the streets since Maddie called me and picked me up from the park where I sat like a loner.

I might as well be one now.

Seeing that woman at first did not remind me that she is our mother. But the photographs Jason used to keep of her until dad died still registered deep in my mind. The same hazel eyes, the same blonde hair. She smiled at me when she stood up and at that moment as I entered the house, the last bit of my strength evaporated into the air and I was left weak. I could not go in front of anyone as a weak person! So of course, I ran. I did not care about Jason, Aaron or Draven's calls and messages since Maddie promised to take care of it. All the poor girl got from me was that my mother was back and she understood.

"I have to get early to class. I'll see you later?" She rubs my arm as I near my locker and gives me concerned looks. Why wouldn't she be? I'm practically deep in a hole of depression and it is definitely visible considering my appearance. My glum face with raccoon-like eyes paired with a pair of baggy sweatpants and a hoodie does not exactly scream happy now, does it?

It certainly feels absurd to stand alone here considering – ironically - there are hundreds of people swarming the corridor. There was no room of argument about the fact that there is no way I would be attending today's Literature class. I cannot even bear to harbor any more thoughts of the grey-eyed devil and sharing a class with him, breathing the same air he is in, knowing he will definitely try to talk to me?

I think I have had enough of torture recently to be able to endure some more.

Corralling all the things I require so that I could hole up in the library the entire day, I shut my locker and plod down the corridor, not bothering to push away the crowd. Just as I spot the liberating and life-saving exit, a face comes into view.

How lovely to see the devil in action.

At first, the rational part of my mind obviously decided to ignore her and continue wallowing in self-pity and depression but I think it's pretty conspicuous by now, that there really is nothing rational in me. So, the next dominant emotion in me – fury - invades my mind as soon as she twists her face into a wry smirk and shoots imaginary victory arrows at me with her stupid eyes. As if on cue, all her past doings and shenanigans come rushing to my head and my feelings towards her are heightened dangerously. It's like she is trying to say 'I win' with that signature bitch face of hers.